My house, my rules
What's this drivel about 'my house, my rules'? Where does this idea come from?
There are currently bonkers people on the radio, discussing how their 20-year-old daughter isn't allowed boyfriends in her room when back from university. 'My house, my rules' is the usual explanation, which of course isn't an explanation at all, but doesn't even make sense in itself. You don't own your kids. Maybe you can impose rules while they're effectively grown up but still under 18, but 20? Get a grip. If there are actual reasons, spell them out. But you don't get to declare yourself sovereign of your own little territory - who said you could do that? How silly.
I suspect the real reasons are 'sky-fairy says no' or 'I don't want to acknowledge my daughter is growing up'. Not brain surgery. Here are some of the other meaningless justifications:
- It's about decorum.
- My parents never let me.
- I was brought up this way.
- I just don't think it's appropriate.
- I don't want to think about it.
- I'm a single mother and I'm very aware what people think of me. (srsly)
I also like the mother who, when she visits her daughter's house, demands the boyfriend sleep in another room. 2009, people.
And this is all discussed on Radio 2, at midday. The daughter in question must be mortified - poor woman.
Brand / Ross / Sachs
Russell Brand has apologised to Andrew Sachs for answerphone messages left during the former's Radio 2 show. Now, I listened to that particular episode yesterday, and I laughed a lot. And I'm the first person to turn off comedians who crudely insult people for laughs - that's not my thing at all. So I think this is all a bit odd.
This particular episode had been on my to-listen list for a while, as the guest co-host was Jonathan Ross. I'm a great admirer of both men, and I was looking forward to hearing them spar. And I wasn't disappointed - I like that kind of fast wordplay and wit. I don't remember thinking they were doing anything particularly offensive or awful, but here's how the BBC described their actions:
Both Brand and Ross made obscene comments about Sachs' 23-year-old granddaughter on a series of messages which they left on the actor's voicemail during the segment.
That's one way of phrasing it, but it's hardly fair. They make it sound like a cruel prank, which it wasn't - if you listen to the show, it's clearly neither malicious nor deliberately insulting. Russell had, it turned out, slept with said granddaughter, and he and Jonathan agreed that this was something they definitely shouldn't mention. Like, you know, the war. But when ex-Fawlty Towers star Andrew Sachs wasn't in, they got his answerphone. And while trying to think of a message, things degraded into innuendo. I'm sure you can imagine. They later agreed that they felt bad about this message, so phoned back to apologise. This took a few phone calls, and the final one was pretty much 'sorry. we're sorry.'
I found it pretty funny. Others likely didn't, which is fair enough. But to call it anything more than joking around is to assume a certain malice on the part of the presenters, which I don't see. If you've spent any time watching or listening to Jonathan Ross, he's obviously either kind, liberal and decent, or one a hell of an actor. Russell Brand is less someone I'd like to be friends with1, and he can sometimes be unpleasant during his trademark flights of verbal diarrhea, but when push comes to shove he has - to my view - a similar sense of kindness.
But still, even if you've never heard either of them before, listening to the show in context should clear it up. They simply weren't being nasty.
It's unfortunate that Andrew Sachs apparently reacted badly, and I suppose the whole thing hinges on his reaction. Many people would, I suspect, have found the messages amusing. But that's just unfortunate, and it shouldn't be difficult to explain and demonstrate that no offence was intended. But a quick google blog search finds lots of reactionary right-wing whiners calling for them to be sacked. Which isn't surprising, but is a bit pathetic.
These situations always remind me of the spectacular hissy fits after Jonathan Ross asked David Cameron whether he'd ever masturbated over Margaret Thatcher. Lots of prudes old right-wing prudes decided it was 1875 and any talk of sex in public should result in a jolly public hanging, or at least the stocks. It's vulgar and disprespectful and blah get-off-my-lawn blah. They, as ever, failed to appreciate that rational people can talk in this way without being unpleasant. It's about intent, not the simple words themselves. If you watch the video, the style of interview and questioning is obviously not cruel or malicious, and the reasons it's funny are interesting in themselves. I'm not going to start analysing the comedy, but if you can't figure out what's going on there, maybe you shouldn't be commenting on appropriate behaviour. If you don't find it funny, fine, but to declare outrage and indecency and disrespect is making yourself look like a stuffy, empathy-less Victorian with no sense of nuance. If you can't handle jokes about masturbation, I really don't know what to say.
Anyway. If you'd like to hear the show for yourself, it's still on the podcast feed here (it's the show from the 18th October).
- My Booky Wook isn't the nicest read ever [↩]
Glasvegas
I don't know much about music, and I like listening to those who do. As such, Mark Radcliffe & Stuart Maconie's Radio 2 evening show is endlessly fascinating to me. They both have a remarkable ability to take a completely innocuous track - Wichita Lineman, say - and spend ten minutes pointing out lyrical touches that would never have occurred to me, telling behind-the-scenes stories (they both have endless brainspace devoted to trivia, it seems) and generating thought-spirals that continue every time I hear the song. Now you come to mention it, that lineman is obviously terribly lonely, but he keeps working anyway. Are the lyrics his thoughts, as he's driving? Huh - it's actually surprisingly poignant. And all in, what, 15 lines?
They do this every time I listen. They also play - to my ears - a wide variety of newer bands, and a few weeks ago introduced me to Glasvegas. I've been picking up their singles on iTunes since. I adore the lead singer's voice and accent, as well as the general atmosphere1 of the tracks. Here's their latest, 'Daddy's Gone':
Geraldine is also worth a listen, imho.
(incidentally, I'm happily feeling a bit calmer today, having left the house, delivered the RAID computer, comforted a baby and walked a dog.)
- can't be any more specific - told you I don't know much about music [↩]
Radio 2′s morning whines
When I'm working at home I usually have Radio 2 on in the background. I like the music - contrary to its old-fashioned image, they seem to play a good range of modern stuff, but without the genres that aren't particularly to my taste - and the presenters. It's certainly light years ahead of any local station. But I'm increasingly irritated by the public interaction, particularly in the mornings.
Terry Wogan's show is heavily based on listener comments, but what's meant to be pithy and/or insightful is increasingly just ignorant. I don't know whether it's always been like this, or if they're filtering differently, but it seems far more cynical and authoritative than before, and certainly isn't intended to be funny. Global warming features prominently, and is genuinely spoken about as just another lie; this is backed up by definitive statements based on the movements of birds in gardens, the everpresent fallacy that scientists are always changing their mind, or - my particular favourite - opinions apparently based entirely on the meaning of the words 'global' and 'warming'. Health advice and the general awfulness of any public service / American take up the rest of the conversation. It's no longer wry, it's just a sad and unnecessary affirmation of the worst old-person stereotypes.
I get bored of the barstool cynicism, but a moment this morning particularly bothered me. The hourly news had relayed the awful story of Mark Speight, reporting how he'd been found dead at a London railway station. Having listened to this news of a guy whose life was so dreadful he felt the only way out was to kill himself, somebody wrote in to point out that Britain doesn't have railway stations, it has train stations12.
I guess that's a way of avoiding dealing with the real world, and I'm not particularly surprised somebody felt strongly enough to write in with such a thing. But why read it out? What does that add to anything?
Still not defecting to Radio 4, though. I can at least feel happy singing along to the inter-snark songs on Radio 2 - I don't think I could cope with the depression of Radio 4 at that time of the morning.
Simon Mayo’s skeptical interview
Simon Mayo sat in for Chris Evans on Radio 2's drivetime show last week. I remember being amazed to discover I liked Chris Evans' show - the guy has a great way with words, and is seriously sharp - but he is a little credulous on occasion, particularly during the daily interviews with offbeat guests. It's not designed to be in-depth serious journalism, but nevertheless reaches millions of people and can add to the general impression of reiki, say, not being made-up bollocks. Last Thursday's guest was the editor of Dictionary of the Unexplained. I haven't heard Simon Mayo much, but I expected he'd continue the usual interviewing style. I don't have a transcript, but he began with something very much like:
So this dictionary is full of the paranormal. Tell me why I should believe a word of it.
He rocked! The editor came out with the usual gumph on keeping an open mind and having consulted 'experts'. SM ignored this and followed up with a question on the most frightening monster in the dictionary. She told of the chupacabara, a reported 'demonic entity' which sucks the blood from goats in Puetro Rico, but has also been sighted in the USA. He asked whether there was any actual evidence of its existence, and she replied that there'd been many sightings. He wasn't impressed, and moved onto the conspiracy theories and hoaxes - did she have a particular favourite hoax? She replied with the Moon Hoax, saying that newspapers in the mid 1800s reported sightings of flying men and bipedal beavers on the moon...
and people actually believed it!
Yeah. That's bonkers. Anyway, back to the goat-sucking monsters.
At the end of the interview SM asked what she was working on next. She said it was a book on 'lost crafts'. Good grief, I thought, this woman really is in deep. What's this - the bermuda triangle? The government hiding evidence of UFO crashes?
Like plucking a chicken, or thatching a roof. That kind of thing.
Ok. My bad.
She didn't come over as all that mental, in hindsight, and certainly a far cry from some true believers I've heard. But Simon Mayo didn't let her off lightly; I was very impressed. Great to hear some decent skepticism on the radio.
Merry Christmas!
Something of a manic day today, what with last-minute deliveries, wrapping, present deliveries and carting a car full of...I don't know what, really, but it sure as hell was the entire car...over to my parents'. Finally all done, and I'm just settling back to relax for the evening. Phew.
Tomorrow will be even crazier, with ten of us plus a 3-month-old baby, a 5 year-old and a labrador. I may have to escape with Megan for a while once the madness starts; she'd like a walk, I think.
I had a comment read out on Radio 2 earlier. Ken Bruce was asking for reasons to play 'Santa's a Scotsman', so I texted in saying I'd made my guitar teacher tab out the entire solo, but I'm not sure he believed it's ever been on the radio. I am famous! I expect to be invited to all the New Year celeb parties.
Watched Muppet Christmas Carol yesterday. I am now of the opinion that MCC is the perfect Christmas film - it's one of the few that somehow never gets old, no matter how many times you see it. At least tying with Miracle on 34th Street (the b/w version), anyway.
Merry Christmas to anybody reading - hope it's a good one.
Don’t like cats or bunnies; do like Russell Brand
Is ok - I haven't been taken out by hitbunnies. A cat did sneak into my parents' house and try to eat my pet cockatiel, however. I rushed into the conservatory and it was sitting on the patio, giving me a look that said "Nerve. I has it". Cats are clearly in league with bunnies. Doesn't surprise me.
I have been listening to Russell Brand while drinking full-sugar coke. Communication of any form is possibly unwise.
Mr Brand is quite funny. I didn't know. I'd never really seen or heard him until he compered at Live Earth, where he kept making me laugh. I think it's his florid way with words. Abi and I giggled involuntarily after he described Spinal Tap as 'meddling with guitars', while the audience around us sat in stony silence. Strange. I put his Radio 2 show on this evening whilst continuing on The Computer Upgrades That Wouldn't Die1, and was immediately endeared to it when RB called his producer a 'solipsistic git' for only bringing one tea-bag. He also interviewed a representative of Finland's Moominworld theme park, calling her 'mooninland lady' for the entire conversation. Made me smile, anyway.
Never really saw many Moomins. Are they like bleached Smurfs? Not that I saw Smurfs either. Ok, this is now less blogging and more just putting off washing up.
- sorry to Scrabulous partners - this has caused me to neglect you over the last couple of days [↩]
Preaching backwards
I was very impressed with Radio 2's 'Pause for Thought' this morning. The preacher managed to combine the Dawkins/Kay non-story and last week's highly dubious global-warming denying C4 documentary into a tirade against the pitfalls of absolute certainty. A standard misrepresentation, but he then compared this to the wonder of his faith, which comes from experience and is therefore better. It was astonishing.
Astrotravel
I was listening to Radio 2 this afternoon when the waste of bandwidth that is the weekly astrology segment started. Russell Grant wittered on as usual and I wasn't paying much attention until he mentioned that he'd been asked his advice on whether a person should move to the Orkney Isles. He said:
I had to look up the astrotravel [...] and it's a Leo place is Orkney, and it's a good place to live or work.
Places have star signs now? How does that work? Are there any places - like here, presumably - with a sign that say they're a bad place to live and work? Astrotravel?! Actually, I don't think I want to know. It'll just wind me up. Except I'm intrigued.
3 in 10
For the first time in years of listening, I just got the 3 in 10 on Radio 2's Popmaster quiz. The challenge is to list, in under ten seconds, three hits by a particular artist. On the rare occasion that I stand a chance I normally spend at least six seconds thinking 'ah, great! I should be able to get this easily.' and then failing. So which artist did I manage? Meat Loaf? Elton John? Celine Dion? Nope: Cyndi Lauper. Can't really explain that
