The Pirates, in an adventure with Friday

Avast!Β It be International Talk Like a Sea-Dog day, and I be doin’ me duty. Get on yer hornpipes an’ spread the word – the word be: ARRRRRR!

Today be a day fer traditional sea-dog japes. I be huntin’ treasure! Treasure in the form of appropriately-tailored shirts! It be worthy of a classic sea-dog tale! Then I be reviewing Cursed Audio of The Deep and assembling playlists fer The Glorious and Shiny Dance of the Rather Suave Sea-Dog (no lubbers allowed). It be a day worthy of Captain Threepwood!

Now if yer’ll excuse me, the pirate in green be in shenanigans again. Insult cutlass battles ahoy!

Avast an’ Arrrr!

Arrrr! It be International Talk Like a Sea-Dog Day and I be talkin’ like a sea-dog! I makin’ no apologies fer not postin’ durin’ th’ day, for I b’n thinkin’ ’bout booty.

Nay, ye filth-minded bilge rats!

Well, aye.

But nay. Me pile o’gold be confusin’, but now be in order. I be celebratin’ this evenin’ wi’ seven wenches an’ a tub o’grog. What yer sayin’? Some bilge rat stole me wenches?! An’ me grog be juice o’apple?! P’raps I content meself wi’ Holby City, CSI: Miami an’ Lost, then. I be easily pleased.

I be havin’ noticin’ it be mighty easy ter slip from the fine language o’sea-dogs ter west highland farmer. Arrrrrrrrr!

Avast!

Happy International Talk Like A Pirate Day! Arrr, thar be booty fer th’ pickin’. Landlubbers and sea dogs alike stand a good chance a’winnin’ me tome: Pirates! In an Adventure with Whaling, there being nay entrants as yet. Ye need but scrawl a smartly ‘avast!’.

‘coupla mornin’ links for ye: mushy romantic drawin’s, via sea dog Waxy, an’ Flyin’ Mobulas via them scurvy Boing Boingers – between ye’ an’ me, I’ve seen better sea beasties.

Me new cabin bunk has arrived! Just need t’ confirm me ship, then all’s well.

Sketchings from th’ lubberboats will appear on th’ bonny sea port flickr today, me hopes.

Arrrr!

Here Come the Pirates!

Are you prepared for Monday? Not only is Katie Melua‘s new single released, but it’s also International Talk Like a Pirate Day!

Megan the Pirate

In other words: 24 hours of pure joy. In celebration of this momentous day, I have a copy of The Pirates! In an Adventure with Whaling to give away. Whoever sends me the most entertaining piratical email / voicemail wins the book – simple as that. Here’s a quote from page 2 – probably not strictly legal, but people likely read this far in the bookshop anyway:

The mast completely flattened the pirate who liked to show off how much he knew about wine, whilst the pirate with a hook for a hand found himself engulfed in a billowing white sail, and he was soon chasing the other pirates about, pretending to be a ghost. There was such a commotion none of the pirates even noticed the galley doors swing open and the Pirate Captain himself step out onto the deck. The Pirate Captain had taken to wearing a dashing maroon smoking jacket and a blousy white shirt that had most of the buttons undone to reveal the glossy hairs on his chest. His chest hairs were almost as well-conditioned as the hairs in his luxurious beard, which many of the crew felt to be one of the seven wonders of the oceanic world. If the pirate crew had been asked to list the seven wonders of the oceanic world in full they would have confidently said, in ascending order: 1) the Lighthouse at Pharos; 2) the Colossus of Rhodes; 3) Lulworth Cove; 4) those jellyfish that light up; 5) Lobsters; 6) Girls in Bikinis; 7) the Pirate Captain’s fantastic beard.

How can you resist a book with paragraphs like that?

To win it, get in touch using the details at the top of the right-hand sidebar. Email / call via skype / call via normal phone…If it’s a voicemail, please leave some hint as to who you are. The sole criterion is that it has to be piratical! I’ll post anywhere in the world, and the prize will be awarded on Monday evening, GMT. The judge’s decision is, of course, final πŸ™‚