A scandal is rocking the music industry:

Radiohead frontman Thom Yorke has admitted he was among the thousands of people who paid nothing to download the band’s latest album.

Despicable. Just because he wrote and recorded the thing doesn’t mean he shouldn’t pay for it like everyone else. Who does he think he is? I predict there’ll be a wave of revelations. I bet J.K. Rowling didn’t pay for her own copy of Harry Potter 7.

I’ve had a request - a request - to review the video for “Headlines (Friendship Never Ends)” - the new Spice Girls single. I don’t know why either, but I’m always happy to oblige friends…I should mention that Anna Pickard has done a good job of this already.

I should also confess that I don’t mind the Spice Girls at all. They had some catchy songs: I still think ‘two become one’ is pretty good. Please don’t stop talking to me. I should probably move on. Here is why I think the Spice Girls video is like Hamlet.

Video begins with the Girls walking into Enormous Room of Abandoned Stuff. Dark, musty and littered with photogenic bric-a-brac, it’s a place that only exists in music videos. The entrance is, in my view, important. In Hamlet he gets banished for a) killing old men a) being a brat, but when he secretly returns to Denmark he has the advantage of surprise. He can spy on his enemies, track their movements, plan his revenge. And then he blows it by throwing a hissy fit and jumping into a grave in front of everyone. It is the very definition of anti-climactic¹. ‘Headlines’ is the same.

So the Girls enter Ikea Batman’s warehouse. In slow-motion, natch. They’re in beautiful dresses. They look elegant, mature. They used to be a massive pop force, and are now together again. Ok so the song isn’t all that hot, but the video can redeem it. Some class is needed. What’s the story?

This is the entire story of the video: the Girls stand in a room; some of them undress.

Well, Ginger does. Takes her about fifteen seconds. There she is looking good in sparkly red dress, and moments later she’s in a bra and up against a wall.

Lesser bloggers would need to take a moment out after that sentence. I shall push on.

They soon split off into little areas. Ginger has clearly been banished to a corner, so is all look: I has breasts and occasionally look: I has thighs. Posh stands around looking sultry for a while, then, suddenly, we cut to mid-lap-dance: she’s on a chair in her underwear, feeling herself up while gazing sidelong into the camera. Scary appears to have been replaced with Animatronic Girl devoid of personality. Sporty and Baby are clearly embarrassed by all this so wander off and, by virtue of actually being able to sing, retain their dignity.

And that’s it, really. Well-lit attractive women hovering about chez-lounges. Measuring it on the Take That Scale of Comebacks, it gets a Winehouse with Merit, slightly below an All Saints First Single. I hope they get their act together - I still think they’ve a certain kitsch charm.

1. people have tried to tell me it’s very clever and moving. Having none of it. I like the play, but this bit is Just Rubbish [↩]

For no apparent reason, I am thinking that a Tony Clifton cover of Under the Sea would be great indeed.

Two days of promotion on Radio 2 and I’m completely won over by Amy Winehouse’s cover of The Zuton’s’ Valerie. Everybody else knew this a year ago, but wow, the woman can sing. I like how she says ‘myself’.

No Beatles announcements, but DRM-free music will indeed appear on iTunes in May. But DRM-free music will be more expensive than DRM-ed versions. Hmmmm. I am impressed: they’ve done something with tremendous virtue yet appear no less evil. DRM-free albums will be no more expensive, bizarrely, and it’ll be possible to upgrade currently DRM-ed tracks for 15p or so. Progress, though.

This could be something. EMI and Apple’s press conference later today is trailered with announcing an “exciting new digital offering.” This could be the long-awaited sale of Beatles tracks on iTunes, but there’s speculation of a DRM announcement. Digital Rights Management is the technology that copy-protects individual songs, meaning that tracks bought on iTunes can only be played on iPods, and in many countries it’s actually illegal to circumvent. MP3 players have to support DRM in order to play songs downloaded from online stores like Virgin, something a friend of mine ran into when her generic 512mb player refused to recognise any of her legally purchased music.

DRM is intended to protect music from illegal copying, and I have some sympathy with the aims, but in practice it’s irritating as hell and actually encourages people to circumvent the system by obtaining music illegally. EMI have expressed interest in releasing DRM-free music, and today’s announcement might be a large-scale release on these lines, especially given Apple’s recent comments that they would sell DRM-free music ‘in a heartbeat’.

If this happens it’ll be interesting to see the results. Experiments indicate people are more willing to buy DRM-free music, but there’s always the worry that sales will plummet as piracy would be simple. This seems unlikely, however. I think most people realise it’s fair to pay for music you like, especially when it’s only 79p and not the £4 of an HMV single. I think people have a decency default, and there’s room for a gentleman’s agreement of sorts: the record labels / artists say “you can do what you like with our music, but in return we expect you to be fair.” Yes, plenty of people will ignore this, but if properly implemented it would no longer be socially acceptable. I think most decent people frown at the idea of watching an illegal DVD of a newly-released movie - however much people whine about cinema prices, there’s no excuse for that - and it’d be great to get music to the same level.

The next step, presumably, would be some kind of license allowing people to share music in a limited fashion. I don’t see the problem in sending a new single to a friend with similar tastes, but it’s clearly unreasonable to share it with the entire office, or for my friend to in turn pass it on.

For years I’ve very occasionally heard Elton John’s ‘Roy Rogers’ on the radio and thought what a lovely song it was. It’s one of those tracks I only remember when it’s playing, and I’ve never put any effort into locating it. Happily, Elton John’s entire back catalogue was released onto iTunes this morning, so I now own the song. I somehow thought it was a rare one, but apparently it’s from Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, so wouldn’t have been tricky to find. Still, nice to have it finally.

Radio 2’s record of the week is ‘Stay the night from ghosts’. I thought this was a pleasing phrase and a great title, then later found out it’s actually ‘Stay the night’ from ‘Ghosts’, which isn’t anything like so poetic. Still, I can now steal it without feeling guilty.

Who needs Guitar Hero when there’s an air guitar t-shirt?

The T-shirt has motion sensors built into its elbows that pick up movements and relay them wirelessly to a computer which interprets them as guitar riffs. One arm is interpreted as picking chords while the other strums.

This is very, very exciting. Finally I can add a backing track to my daily life. Walking to the sandwich shop and making witty banter with the staff will be accompanied by a cheeky riff. Sporting events can build in excitement via a 1-4-5 progression. Opening my eyes in dramatic fashion would be linked to power chords. If only somebody invented laughter track shoes my world would be perfect.

“It’s an easy-to-use, virtual instrument that allows real-time music-making - even by players without significant musical or computing skills,” said the research team leader, Richard Helmer.

It’ll be known as The X Factor Shirt.

“It allows you to jump around and the sound generated is just like an original mp3.”

I could jump around? For real?

By customising the software, the team has also tailored the technology to make an air tambourine

An air tambourine? No way should this be allowed to happen. You know how incredibly annoying it is when people say ‘boom-tish’ after you’ve told a joke? CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW MANY PEOPLE WOULD HAVE TO DIE IF THEY HAD AIR TAMBOURINES?

However, just think of the potential when you link other instruments with this almost innocuous sentence:

The technology, which is adaptable to almost any kind of apparel

I am so getting an air saxophone in my pants. It could rise in pitch when…well, never mind. Maybe an Air String Quartet would be better: think of the subtle romantic ambience at opportune moments!

Bit of Tuesday happiness to be found over at the always entertaining Mike’s Weekly Skeptic Rant, where there’s an utterly charming video of the Peanuts gang dancing to Outkast’s ‘Hey ya’. I really despise that song, so anything that makes me want to listen to the whole thing must be impressive

I like country music when it’s not too depressing, and The Dixie Chicks are good fun in this regard. They’re in the news today after NBC refused to screen a trailer for their documentary, which follows the few years after they were abruptly launched into politics when lead singer Natalie Maines, during a break at a 2003 London concert, said:

Just so you know, we’re ashamed the President of the United States is from Texas.

The US right-wing press went nuts. I may think it’s a weird thing to say - how does it make sense to take pride in / be ashamed of somebody else being born in the same arbitrary land area as you? It’s like being proud of sharing a birthday - but it was apparently off-the-cuff and certainly pales in comparison to the insanity of the reaction. Wikipedia’s good write-up says:

The remark sparked intense criticism from many Americans, on three grounds: that Maines shouldn’t be criticizing the nation’s head of state while on foreign soil; that Maines shouldn’t be criticizing the military’s commander-in-chief while the country was on the verge of war; and (from a business standpoint) that Maines shouldn’t be making political statements that would offend the Dixie Chicks’ culturally conservative audience base.

Which is all crap, if you ask me. The first two are just ridiculous, and the third is funny. I particularly like it when lay-people pretend they have any interest in business decisions. It’s like mobile phone mast campaigners claiming they’re not NIMBY-ing, just trying to tell Orange that they think it would be a better business decision to place it somewhere else (a frequent response after somebody asks them to provide any evidence to back up their health claims). Who do they think believes them for even for a moment?

Many radio stations refused to play their music - one arranged for its listeners to donate their cds to be crushed by a bulldozer - and the band received death threats. Aside from the craziness that this can all result from something fairly innocuous - doesn’t Jon Stewart say worse every night? - it’s at least an interesting story. The new documentary, Shut up and Sing, has the following trailer:

and US tv-channel NBC refused to show it on the grounds that it’s ‘disparaging to President Bush’. I assume this channel is happy to screen political ads that personally attack senators etc. I wonder whether the real reason is right-wing bias or fear of a backlash. I’m sure there are crazies on the left, but the ultra-nationalism that goes seems to go hand-in-hand with the modern Republican Party is appalling. Gotta hope the Democrats have some success in next week’s midterm elections.

Natalie Mains said to the Telegraph earlier this year:

The entire country may disagree with me, but I don’t understand the necessity for patriotism. Why do you have to be a patriot? About what? This land is our land? Why? You can like where you live and like your life, but as for loving the whole country … I don’t see why people care about patriotism.

Doesn’t necessarily follow from the 2003 comment, but I like the sentiment I don’t know whether the documentary will make it over here, but it looks worth catching.

Given the number of times I’ve heard it this week it seems Radio 2 are very fond of the new Scissor Sisters single: I Don’t Feel Like Dancin’. This isn’t surprising as imho it’s great. Apparently it’s Elton John on the piano.

It’s not often that I agree with the Daily Mail, but I think this article on James Blunt is right on the money. The guy doesn’t seem to have done anything wrong, yet is reviled by the press and the frequent target of abuse in the blogosphere. It’s hardly his fault if some radio stations have overplayed the singles. If people genuinely don’t like the music, fine, but much of it seems to be the usual I-must-sneer-at-anybody-popular snideness, and in many cases I wonder which came first.

All I remember of my dreams this morning is that Joshua Malina was in one of them. I was at a party, or something, and he was there too. I started to strike up a conversation, then woke up.

I mention this because there are apparently balloons floating above me, trying to stimulate dreams. There should be a “vast audio landscape across the town”, but a mile from the town centre I can’t see or hear anything atm. It is ‘music released from the confines of gravity’. It’s really not, but the concept sounds pleasant and I’ll go hunting in a bit. I’m currently waiting for an engineer to arrive to prevent my shower exploding - if he turns up late and makes me miss the balloons there will be trouble.

It’s also the happiest day of the year. Wheee.

The free snippets convinced me to pick up The Feeling’s album: Twelve Stops and Home, and I’m really enjoying it. I think it’s great happy summer music, and I like the lead singer’s voice. There are all sorts of interesting musical moments, especially when you listen through headphones.

I bought Dad a very old-fashioned physical copy for Father’s Day, and discovered yesterday that it has a hidden extra track. The final song on the album is very long, and a new song turns up a minute or so after you think the CD has ended. This isn’t the case on the iTunes version, which is a shame. Given that there are two songs on one track it seems iTunes must have chopped it up manually, possibly because of their 79p-per-track policy, and it’s disappointing that the extra song isn’t available at all.

Still, the available tracks are a great sound, imho. Recommended by me