They’re also going to ban old people

Stephen Colbert isn’t impressed with the midterm election results:

Tomorrow you’re all going to wake up in a brave new world. A world where the constitution gets trampled by an army of terrorist clones, created in a stem-cell research lab run by homosexual doctors who sterilise their instruments over burning american flags. Where tax-and-spend democrats take all your hard earned money and use it to buy electric cars for national public radio and teach evolution to illegal immigrants. Oh, and everybody’s high.

He forgot replacing Christmas with Celebrate Our Monkey Ancestors Day. Crazy people whose opinions aren’t actually far from the above are reported to be crawling back under their rocks.

Stephen Colbert writes himself into comedy history

I’ve only just heard about the Stephen Colbert speech, and haven’t even finished watching it yet, but it’s just brilliant. He was my favourite correspondent on The Daily Show before leaving to front The Colbert Report (pronounced The Colber’ Repor’) – a spoof of US right-wing talk shows. It lampoons the US administration every day of the week, and clips from it appear on everything from political websites to atheist blogs. And here’s the thing.

Somebody let him give a 25-minute speech to the White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner, with President Bush sitting two metres to his right.

For UK readers, it’s like letting Ian Hislop, or the late Linda Smith give a speech while standing next to Tony Blair.

Twenty-five minutes of Stephen Colbert, in character, completely eviscerating the President in laugh-out-loud fashion, while making serious points. It’s cringe-making-astonishing-can’t-tear-your-eyes-away stuff. There’s already, which has collected over 10,000 signatures since being created on Saturday.

Due to’s 10 minute limit, the speech is spread over three links. Here’s part one:

1 of 3
2 of 3
3 of 3

[removed because YouTube pulled the video – google ‘Stephen Colbert’ and you’ll probably find it easily’]

What a mistake to make…

Update: Only just re-read this and spotted all the typos. Argh! Sorry about that – in my defence, it was quite late 🙂 I’ve added a couple of links, too.