iTunes launched their UK TV service today. I think it’s the first UK retailer to sell season 3 of Lost, which at £33 is roughly the same price as the DVD box set. Otherwise, individual episodes are £1.89, which isn’t an unreasonable price. Lost, Desperate Housewives, Grey’s Anatomy and South Park¹ are probably the most interesting of the 28 US shows. Damn. I was happy to pick up the odd not-available-in-the-UK show via bittorrent before this; now I’ll feel guilty if it’s available legally. There’s nothing from UK tv yet, but I’m sure it’s just a matter of time.

I haven’t tried it out yet - I don’t have a video iPod, and there’s nothing I’m itching to see - but it’s a popular service in the US and I’m sure it’ll come in useful. News articles have compared it to the ‘catch-up’ offerings from the BBC and ITV, but it’s actually quite different. I can keep these shows for as long as I want² - the ‘catch-up’ services only let you watch for a week /month after transmission. The commercial channels will surely have to implement something like this; ‘catch-up’ just doesn’t cut it - I’m happy to pay for something without adverts that I can watch whenever I like and keep forever, and it seems like it should be profitable, depending on bandwidth costs. Not sure what the BBC will do, though…

1. 22min episodes of which cost the same as 45min episodes of other shows; worth it for the Scientology episode, though. [↩]
2. admittedly if iTunes folds the DRM would ensure I couldn’t watch them any more, but that’s at least not the point [↩]

Regarding the Queen and complete bloody hysteria over what was probably an internal lark that went national, I would like to entirely agree with the words of Martin in The Margins. He also links to a fascinating discussion between David Thompson and Ophelia Benson over postmodernism, the state of the left, and Terry Eagleton.

Written ‘live’, so not particularly coherent:

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Is anyone else watching Panorama? They’re scaremongering over wifi radiation. The notorious Powerwatch just got a plug, and various permutations of ‘electromagnetic smog’ are turning up every couple of minutes, along with calling routers ‘mini-masts’. It’s pretty strong stuff - some guy just claimed it could cause chromosome damage, cancer etc. - but it’s pretty appalling journalism, imho.

They’re talking to many ‘world-renowned experts’ who are for some reason only available via the internet. They keep throwing out phrases like ‘its safety is not yet proven’. Now they’re talking to electrohypersensitives! This is mixing implausible but vaguely plausible health worries with very fringe ideas. There was just an odd look at a study into whether ‘hypersensitives’ can detect radiation gave ‘inconclusive’ results, which were skipped over in favour of the test subject’s own personal feelings on the matter (she’s installed silver foil all around her bedroom). I have sympathy with ‘electrohypersensitives’ in that they’re clearly suffering, but from what I’ve read the symptoms - headaches, trouble sleeping etc.. - are generic problems that can be caused by many many things. And radiation exposure has been studied a lot. As has electrosensitivity, as people have had exactly the same fears since TV started broadcasting.

We’ve now got (made up) figures indicating over two million UK electrohypersensitives that - profound tone of voice - the government is ignoring. And now we’re slagging off the World Health Organisation in favour of one UK investigator.

They have at least interviewed one of the (apparently) head scientists in charge of setting health limits, but poisoned the well by claiming he’s a controversial figure as he testified on behalf of mobile phone companies who want to place masts in controversial areas. But the danger of such radiation is the very issue being discussed! He claims that the weight of scientific evidence is very much in favour of there being no danger, but the programme is heavily hinting that this is not to be believed. Why aren’t they paying attention to the huge number of studies which show no problem? I thought this was meant to be a serious programme?

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I’m glad to see it’s not me being sensitive: the Bad Science forums and now the front page are talking about it. They both want to know why the background of the head scientist was queried, but the Powerwatch guy was given a free ride. There’s also a sensible rebuttal in today’s Guardian.

Julie Walters will play Mary Whitehouse in a BBC drama detailing her extended battles with Director General Sir Hugh Greene. The executive producer says the story is ‘often very funny’. Also bizarre, apparently:

She once called him “the devil incarnate”. He responded to her criticisms by commissioning a painting of her naked with five breasts to hang in his office.

*blinks*

The One O’Clock news just claimed Thorntons are reporting 1 in 5 customers buying two of the same Valentine’s gift, and putting different names on each. At the risk of embarrassing myself: there is no way this is true. Even if you accept the dubiously high number of affairs, there’s no chance so many would have the sheer nerve to ask for that in a shop. And people really buy both¹ the exact same present? Also, the staff are really collecting stats on this kind of thing? I can’t find any references online and yes, I’m an optimist, but I don’t believe it. It’s got to be a massive misquotation.

1. is there a male version of ‘mistress’? ‘Mister’? [↩]

What do you notice in this picture?

Given the presence of the utterly divine Karen Hardy (in yellow) and - I’m reliably informed - the equally appealing Mark Ramprakash, you might be forgiven for not looking at the background. But if you did…

I’m on the left, Lynsey’s on the right. Yeah, we’re small and nigh-on unrecognisable, but come on, if I don’t get to say ‘look, it’s me on tv!’ on my blog, where do I get to say it
A couple of months ago we managed to get hold of four tickets for Strictly Come Dancing, and after a nervous wait for them to arrive Lynsey and I headed down to London yesterday morning. We checked in with the kind friends who’d agreed to put us up for the night, then after a large lunch got changed into the ‘Smart/Glamorous dress’ specified on the tickets and caught the Tube to Shepherd’s Bush. After taking a few minutes to figure out the correct direction, we arrived at the BBC Centre and joined the queue next to the ‘audience entrance’. Our friends from the dance group arrived a few minutes later, and shortly afterwards we were shown into the BBC foyer, where there were seats and tables as well as a cafe and the BBC shop.

The screens in the waiting room showed old episodes of SCD to get everybody into a dancing mood, and after forty minutes we were shown through the main doors to join a queue across the front of television centre. This didn’t go down terribly well as it was a cold night and most of the women had checked their coats in the foyer, but we were only there for a few minutes, made more entertaining when somebody spotted Anton practicing in a hallway and there was a flurry of whispers as we tried to work out who he was with - it didn’t look like Jan. We went into Studio One and were diverted up the stairs to the balcony seats on the right-hand side of the studio. It was surprisingly small! The dance floor itself was tiny, and I guess they must use wide-angle lenses to make it look larger. The whole studio was also darker than it appears on-screen. We were directly opposite the judge’s table and very happy with this view! A group next to us complained they couldn’t see all of the dance floor. Had they actually leaned forward a little they’d have seen there was only 2/3 of a metre hidden, so it was no big deal. They ended up leaving after the first half of the show. Grumpy!

The room filled up and we began star-spotting. Colin Jackson and his sister sat next to the judge’s table and Erin, his partner in series three, came out to say hello dressed in fluffy slippers We later saw Julian Clary and Georgina. Many, many people moved back and forth, it’s amazing how many bodies it takes to make a tv show! The floor manager then introduced himself, the judges - Craig was booed, Bruno and Len cheered - and the orchestra. Incidentally, Craig Revel Horwood is a big guy! He dwarfed the other judges. Bruce Forsyth then walked out to loud applause and began warming up the audience. He told a few jokes, sang a song, and actually acted as compere for the entire evening, which I really liked. We were made to feel part of the show, rather than just being there to watch it. During the live show he was continually joking with the audience up to the final second before he was on-screen, and sometimes actually continuing, to the presumed bewilderment of the tv audience.

Finally the show began, and we all cheered and clapped loudly as Tess Daly appeared, then continued as the dancers descended the stairs. This was the first time we’d seen them, which was probably a deliberate move by the producers. Anton, unsurprisingly, got a particularly large cheer. I noticed that all of their make-up seemed much more pronounced, presumably because that’s the amount you need when on-camera. Then we were off and running into the main show, which flew by.

I was so intrigued by the workings of a tv studio that I almost forgot to concentrate on the dancing. It was fascinating: a guy with a steadicam would sprint onto the floor during the routines, circle the dancers, then get out of the way as fast as he could; as soon as the screen cut to the week’s training footage make-up artists would appear and dab at the judges for a few seconds; huge boom arms would swing and glide around the studio, and hand-held camera operators would dash back and forth between the floor and the orchestra.

I don’t claim to have any deep knowledge of dancing, but after two years of learning I think I’ve picked up a few aspects of technique. I have trouble judging performances on tv, though - I never seem to notice the flaws that everybody else does. I found it much easier when I was actually there, and a couple of times the judges said what I was thinking, which was cool. The dancing looked more impressive than it does on tv, too, I guess because they seem more like actual people.

I liked Emma & Darren’s Viennese waltz a lot, as well as Carol Smillie, but wasn’t terribly impressed with Claire and Brendan. I think the audience were turning against Brendan - he was booed a little when he walked on, and when he had a strop during the point-scoring there was little reaction at all.

Then, though, came the final contestants: Mark and Karen. I admit I have a slight bias as I already thought they were fantastic, but imho they really brought the house down. As soon as their salsa music began the whole audience started swaying and clapping more than they had for the other routines, and once they leapt into the dance it was completely mesmerising. But then disaster struck - the microphone got caught and they had to stop. Bruce rushed on and Mark begged to be given another chance. The audience went mental. There was no way we were going to let them say no - I think we’d have revolted I imagine the decision was made very quickly, but then something had to be done to guarantee the problem didn’t recur, so the sound girl had to dash onto the stage and sort it out. The floor manager was also shouting directions - did they make it to air? The dance began again and the atmosphere was really quite something. Everybody was moving and clapping in time with the music, and the routine was even better the second time around. We all went nuts when it finished, more so when the judges awarded them 36 points. The whole routine can be watched here.

The first half of the show show ended, and we were sent back to the foyer for crisps and warm orange juice. Thankfully we’d had a large lunch to make sure we didn’t go hungry - 4 until 10 is a long time to go without eating properly. We waited there, watching a silent Robin Hood on the big screens (is better without the dialogue anyway), until being allowed back in 45 minutes later. Jamiroquai were rehearsing and there was some confusion over whether we should be there, but by then it was too late so we all sat down. Lynsey and I took the opportunity to snap a few photos. Full-size cameras were banned, but I don’t think they minded cameraphones provided nobody used them during the actual performance or important rehearsals. The full flickr set is here.

A sadly-hatless Jay Kay said hello and they filmed ‘Canned Heat’ live-to-tape. We’d been told to clap along with our arms in the air, and did so until they ached, then had to do it again after a sound problem with the first take.

Our balcony seats turned out to be the location for the second half’s introductory shot with Bruce and Tess setting the scene. It was a little dark but I got a couple of blurry shots:

Again Bruce was chatting to everybody, as well as looking over the balcony and remarking upon the low-cut nature of women’s dresses I didn’t dislike him or anything before, but I came away really admiring the guy.

They then ran through a dress rehearsal of the second-half. Various of the dancers changed dresses three times, then did it again in the live show! The rehearsal included the professional dancer’s routine, which was a samba with guest star Zoe Ball. This was excellent, as it starred all of the dancers who’d left the competition, which meant we got to see everybody dance! It ended with Zoe posing theatrically in front of Matthew Cutler. Unfortunately they became attached - her bum to his groin - and after a few seconds of unsuccessful attempts to pull apart Matthew gave up and began pumping away. I don’t know how many people noticed this, but we were in hysterics. Then, bizarrely, came a mock run-through of the final elimination procedure, with couples remaining purely based on their order in line. The first couple were given a cheer, but we felt a bit silly given that it wasn’t real, and by the time it got to Erin there was no reaction at all - she was unimpressed by this, and made all the other dancers clap Matt and Lilia ‘exited the competition’, and even did their final ‘Goodbye My Lover’ dance.

I’ve missed out something very important, though. The judges appeared for a while before and during the Jamiroquai set, and we waved madly at Craig until he saw us and waved back. We unsuccessfully tried the same with Len. However, there were greater things to come. I wasn’t looking, but just before the elimination procedure began Lynsey and Julie spotted Anton looking their way, and waved madly. I saw them trying to get his attention and joined in, and he waved back. I turned to see Lynsey’s reaction, only to see her eyes widen as he apparently blew her a kiss! She was most excited. I’m sorry I missed it happen, but I’m very happy it did
There were ten minutes before the show began, during which time the floor manager gave away signed t-shirts to two children in the audience who volunteered to do ’something’. The first, probably six or seven years old, fearlessly stepped onto the stage and sang a couple of verses of a McFly song to rapturous applause. The second managed not to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ for a minute, and was equally well received.

Then came the live show, which went very quickly. The judges gave their opinions on who should leave - Brendan seemed subdued - and the professional routine came and went without the dirty dancing finale. I was impressed that throughout the entire second show, rehearsal and live, the man sitting next to me didn’t move once. No cheers, no claps, no sways. Sure, he doesn’t have to if he doesn’t want to, but how do you end up even being there if you’re not interested?

Finally it was time to eliminate one couple. Everybody lined up during the Jamiroquai music break, and Tess appeared literally clutching the results cards to her chest. I saw her take a quick peak at the first one, though They cut back to live television, and began announcing the names. Tess or Bruce would say something like ‘the next couple leaving the competition is’ and then stare at the floor manager, who would hold up his hand for five seconds or so and drop it when the names should be read out. I have my suspicions about the ‘random order’ of the results - there’s never been a low-scorer made safe in the first couple of names, and the last four are always possibilities - but it was quickly narrowed down to Brendan and Anton. After what seemed like an age Anton’s name was read out, and there were very loud boos. I think this was mostly simply because it was Anton rather than ‘it should have been Brendan’, but there was probably an element of the latter. Poor Jan was terribly upset, and there were many ‘aaah’s.

They wrapped up the show and everybody crowded around Anton and Jan. The thing I like about SCD is that it’s all genuine. Nobody disappeared once the cameras stopped rolling, and Bruce and Tess both independently commiserated J&A, before wandering around the floor and chatting to the various people seated around it. They were all still there when we left a few minutes later.

The contestants and professionals were laughing and joking with each other the whole time, no matter whether the cameras were rolling. They genuinely seemed to be enjoying themselves, which imho is far more pleasant than the infighting and unpleasantness which comes with many shows based around weekly evictions. The atmosphere in the studio was happy and friendly, bordering on ecstatic at times, and even the judge’s criticisms seemed to fit with the mood - they weren’t vindictive, after all.

We left the studio feeling a little sad that it was all over, but very happy that we’d had such a good time. Lynsey and I squeezed onto a packed Tube and made it to our friend’s flat forty minutes later. It was a truly excellent evening, and one I’d recommend to anybody if they get a chance.

We’re in the balcony seats on the right-hand side, btw, in case anybody’s watching

How good was that! It was my lucky day - two dances from Karen! I think the audience would have revolted if they hadn’t allowed that. Back into the studio in 45mins for a Jamiroquai rehearsal, then the results show at 2125. Having an excellent time

We’ve had our Strictly tickets confirmed and are now waiting to be let into the studio. Phew. We’re most excited!

I can’t believe the BBC missed this opportunity:

The new landlady of a Tyneside pub has spoken of her surprise at discovering that one of the regulars is a horse.

Jackie Gray recently took over the Alexandra Hotel in Jarrow and said she was shocked when carthorse Peggy joined owner Peter Dolan for a pint.

The article neglects to mention her first question: ‘why the long face?’

*dies*

Occasionally the BBC News website vote covers a matter of great import:

Never saw Happy Days. Did watch Knight Rider. The correct answer is clearly The Hoff. Am sure Kerron would agree. Vote here, although it’ll likely only last a few days.

Despite having the vast reaches of the Internet at my disposal, I yesterday failed to find any pictures of Cousin It from The Addams Family. Turns out that’s because his name is Cousin Itt.

You have to concede the coolness of Cousin Itt.

Whatever happened to BBC2 showing cool stuff at 1800 on weekdays? The Addams Family was always fun, at least when I was a kid, and there was ST:TNG, Buck Rogers, Buffy, the Gerry Anderson shows and sometimes old sci-fi films like The Time Machine or War of the Worlds¹. All this was far more entertaining than the always-depressing news, too.

1. I’m sure I remember seeing this in colour, weirdly [↩]

The UN nuclear committee today said that Iran has failed to halt uranium enrichment programmes. This is a country run by a psychotic who wants to wipe Israel of the face of the Earth, while preparing for the coming of the 12th imam. Also, 3 million people in Darfur are on the brink of starvation, yet today the UN halved food rations because of a lack of funds. The rations before were pretty much the minimum level needed for survival. The UK and the EU have provided very little, with the major donations coming from the US. It’s hard to see it as anything but a massive failure by the international community.

You’d think these would be pressing issues, but the main story on the news is the shocking revelation that some prisoners re-offend after release. A massive five people, from 1000 who should have been deported, reoffended. Five! The end of civilisation as we know it, clearly. The BBC correspondent is currently saying that the government has “failed to protect the public”. Could we possibly get some perspective? Sure prisoner release was a mistake, but it wasn’t malicious, and is it actually all that important? I appreciate that those who suffered violence at the hands of those released may feel otherwise, but on a national/international scale, aren’t there far worse things requiring public attention? It’s not that I’m blindly defending Labour, I just really don’t understand the fuss over this issue.

The BBC breaking news alert thingy just popped up. Either something is going on that is beyond comprehension, or there’s a BBC employee banging his/her head into the desk right now

A while back I drove past a BBC drama shoot, and here’s what I said at the time:

I saw a very cold looking actress standing outside the house

The programme in question, Mayo, was broadcast this evening. The scene began, and the only actress on screen was dressed up warmly. I couldn’t figure it out, until the camera panned over to a short-skirted, bikini wearing…mannequin. It was being used in a crime scene reconstruction.

Look, it was night, and I was trying to drive, ok?