Materialism Ra!

Abi and I headed to the Peak District this morning with a guide book and walking boots. We hadn’t anticipated the skyrocketing temperature, and the 4 miles felt more like 8, but it was fun times. I was amused by the car park’s ‘ice cream van’, which appeared to be a guy who owned a white van, some stickers, a tub of Tesco’s Finest, flakes and a scoop.

We walked past a house with a belltower. A belltower! This is my new ambition. Or at least it’s added to the Ambitious List of Things to Own. Which now looks like this:

  • A cuckoo clock. A proper one made of wood. Mechanical rather than electronic.
  • A ship in a bottle. A big one. Must be a real ship, not a yacht or the QE2 or something. With painted sides, mermaid prow and (if at all possible) little men engaged in piratical endeavours. Alternatively, Kandor.
  • A working paper clock. This was on my list for a long time, and I now have one! It just doesn’t work yet.
  • A bezoar, because a) they’re cool and b) they gross people out. Preferably a Gaimanesque version from a girl with Rapunzel syndrome.
  • A Franklin-style armonica. I would obviously learn how to play it.
  • A dog.
  • A wunderkammer to contain said objects, except the dog because that’d be cruel and it might eat the bezoar. This can now be inside:
  • A house with a belltower. Imagine! I could ring the bell to bring the cats in, or whenever there was a particularly great episode of Lost, or if the local mosque was being too loud. I could set up the alternative quartlerly bell-ringing chimes, with snappy melodies from popular showtunes, or Suzanne Vega records. 

Man, I want a belltower.

P.S. You have no idea how close Mork and Mindy: The Board Game came to being on this list. I may yet edit the post.