For hen-pecked lovers everywhere

So I was looking at the Mythical MERMAID and LOVER Romantic Bronze Sculpture Anniversary Gift on Amazon and thinking what an awesome present it would make, for an anniversary or frankly any time at all. Here it is:

Mermaid, Lover and Chicken

Isn’t it sweet? He looks so comfortable. And it delivers all the promised elements: I see the Mermaid and I see the Lover, though I also see a chicken.

Not entirely sure why there’d be a chicken, unless it’s the setup to a great joke by the big bronze dude.

LOVER: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Mythical MERMAID: I know this one – it’s ‘unfertilised’. Thing is, dear, I don’t know where you think this situation is going, but let me explain something to you…
LOVER: I only meant that I brought my chicken. Why, what do you mean?

I’m just not sure the relationship is going to work out, chicken or no. From my male perspective, this unfortunate symbolism renders it unsuitable as an anniversary present. I’ll tell Amazon.

(this and other spectacular gifts for the man in your life via Catie Wilkins.)