Sorry for the cliché, but I really am sorry for not updating much of late. This blog is six years old today, but the last six months have seen sporadic updates at best. Truth is, I’m barely treading water at the moment. I’m actually getting a bit worried about myself.
Recently it seems I don’t get excited about anything, and I don’t talk about the things I like because I’m embarrassed by them. I also don’t even seem to have any opinions – I feel like an idiot when people are talking about interesting things, because I don’t even know what I think, let alone have anything to add to the conversation. I increasingly leave places feeling dull, stupid, annoying, and not liking myself very much. I think I’m stuck in a loop of worrying way too much what other people think, and I can’t kick myself out of it.
This coincides with your basic I-don’t-know-what-I’m-doing-with-my-life crisis. I’m middling-ok with computers, but am crap at the people side. I’m middling-ok at taking photos, but am going into the third year of uni completely disillusioned with my course. I’m a slightly better writer, in the right circumstances, but am seemingly unable to commit to the hours of practice required to get better. I’ve no idea where I’m going or what I want to do. Blah.
Sorry to whine. Just wanted to explain the quiet. I’m trying – really – but at the moment I’m losing. I’m sure things will improve soon (and I am well aware that my life is cushy by most current or historical standards) and I’ll try to update here more often. I love my little blog, and I don’t want to see it fade. Hopefully this is just a phase, and soon this post will seem like just another bad day.