Trending topic instamemes

Twitter recently introduced a ‘trending topics‘ sidebar, showing the most popular words/phrases over the last few minutes. This is a) pretty clever, given the volume of messages it must be parsing b) a time sink. The latter because people dream up topics on which to make very silly jokes, ‘tagging’ them with a keyword like #whymonkeysareawesome or #thingsivehadupmynose. I then feel obliged to join in, and the situation naturally degrades into total filth. Witness the results of #whensweetsgobad:

  • Wether’s Reject
  • Poolos
  • SARS Bar
  • Sknickers
  • Sugar-daddy mice
  • KitCat Chunky
  • Curlies-wurly
  • Cream Egg
  • Turkish Delilah
  • Minnie Eggs
  • Bendicks Mingeles1
  • Chocolatey Claires

I couldn’t bring myself to submit ‘Stick of Cock’ or ‘Jewsters’. Much time is spent clicking on the trending topic to see everyone else’s ideas: ‘Milf duds’ was a favourite, and I gave up when some genius posted ‘Menstruals’. Then there was the less dirty but equally addictive #unlikelysequels:

  • Turns Out, Breakable
  • Being John Major
  • When Harry Met Cindy
  • The Terminal: This Time It Just Might Be
  • The Land About Now
  • Frost/Grossman
  • Mamma: MIA
  • The Abyss 2: Polyfilla
  • Saving Private Equity
  • Blade Roller
  • The Grapes of Nom
  • Groundhog D-Day

It’s actually ridiculous fun, and a new type of thing: twitter’s instant broadcast-messaging is really quite remarkable. But it eats my evenings.

(apologies for the title: I can’t decide whether ‘instameme’ is a terrible thing to do to the English language.)

  1. I apologised for this one, and a friend remarked he’d never be able to look at them the same way again []