My house, my rules
What's this drivel about 'my house, my rules'? Where does this idea come from?
There are currently bonkers people on the radio, discussing how their 20-year-old daughter isn't allowed boyfriends in her room when back from university. 'My house, my rules' is the usual explanation, which of course isn't an explanation at all, but doesn't even make sense in itself. You don't own your kids. Maybe you can impose rules while they're effectively grown up but still under 18, but 20? Get a grip. If there are actual reasons, spell them out. But you don't get to declare yourself sovereign of your own little territory - who said you could do that? How silly.
I suspect the real reasons are 'sky-fairy says no' or 'I don't want to acknowledge my daughter is growing up'. Not brain surgery. Here are some of the other meaningless justifications:
- It's about decorum.
- My parents never let me.
- I was brought up this way.
- I just don't think it's appropriate.
- I don't want to think about it.
- I'm a single mother and I'm very aware what people think of me. (srsly)
I also like the mother who, when she visits her daughter's house, demands the boyfriend sleep in another room. 2009, people.
And this is all discussed on Radio 2, at midday. The daughter in question must be mortified - poor woman.
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February 4th, 2009 - 16:08
(I was literally reading your post when the following happened. It’s related to this whole “my house, my rules” thing.)
A coworker just showed me a list of rules that she’ll be putting up in a house that she’s renting to college students. Granted, this is a landlord/tenant situation and not a parent/child situation. Anyhow: She asked me to check out the font to make sure the list is readable.
First item on the list: “Pray.”
I shit you not. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh boy.
I didn’t read the rest of the items.
Awwwwwkward.
February 4th, 2009 - 16:43
Yeesh. On the other hand, she can hardly provide evidence people aren’t
I still find the things you’re allowed to put into those kinds of civil contracts totally bizarre. Sure, people have the option not to move in, but still…
February 4th, 2009 - 23:05
The examples you have given seem rather petty, I agree, although I still think that people have every right to dictate as to what goes on in their own homes; I respect that my parents’ house isn’t a hotel, but THEIR home.
And you say “MAYBE you can impose rules when they’re young”, lol? You don’t think children should necessarily have any rules imposed upon them, by their parents?
February 4th, 2009 - 23:14
I don’t really see why that’s true. Maybe out of politeness, or perhaps because no other system is practical, but I don’t see why owning a building gives you any moral authority to say ‘you must do what I tell you’, especially when the adult in question has no choice but to be there. If someone travels a long way to visit me, and has nowhere else to go, then I say they can only stay if they wear an elephant costume and sing Barry Manilow songs all evening, that seems pretty unreasonable behaviour. I’m not sure I have the authority to demand anything, beyond reasonable standards of politeness, just because I own the building.
Yeah, that sentence does look pretty stupid, doesn’t it
I was thinking of a slightly more nuanced point that apparently Went Away when I started typing. Post now updated to make a little more sense.
February 6th, 2009 - 02:48
Sorry if it seems as though I am being combative towards you, as late; not intended, so forgive me, lol.
“then I say they can only stay if they wear an elephant costume and sing Barry Manilow songs all evening”.
DO IT, SOME TIME! Seriously, I don’t know why, but that notion made me literally laugh out loud….
February 7th, 2009 - 00:24
Not at all
Always good to be argued with.
Next time someone stays over…
February 7th, 2009 - 20:50
As a Mum of young girls, I do let their boyfriends stay over provided they are quiet..
We live in a tiny flat and it’s no fun being woken up by the orgasmic groanings of your children!
February 7th, 2009 - 21:46
I would think