You don’t get problems like this at the dentist

I had an optician’s appointment on Thursday. I’m usually seen by a middle-aged dude, but this time it was a pretty woman of about my age. Now, I’ve long known that evolution denied me any ability to converse intelligibly with attractive strangers, but this time I decided to rebel. I resolved to be at least normal. This might have worked, but I then remembered reading how when you’re attracted to someone your pupils dilate. And that was all I could think about. Dorkery resulted. Sigh.