You may think the news has been somewhat depressing of late. I would agree. You may think this will not change, and little can be done to restore optimism. I would disagree. For in Little Rock, Arkansas, USA, something wonderful has occurred.
Possibly you’ve heard of Fred Phelps. He can be described, without fear of recrimination, as a scumbag. He’s the guy who pickets funerals because homosexuality is a sin against God. Last Wednesday he was protesting the National Conference of Editorial Writers – nobody really knows why – with his usual hateful spiel. This happens so often that it’s barely newsworthy, but it’s still upsetting to anybody involved. But wait.
Last Friday, you say? Wasn’t there something else going on last Friday? Some kind of worldwide celebration of…Hey, wouldn’t it be great if…
Fred Phelps and his gang of nutters were driven away by a gang of pirates. I am not joking.
Arkansas Pastafarian Pirates staged a counter-protest across the road, dressed in full nautical gear and holding signs indicating Leviticus’ objections to shrimp and cotton-polyester blends, and the Phelps gang gave up.
This is the best thing I have heard in ages. The relevant Pastafarians deserve touchings from His Noodly Appendage asap.