You’ve been clamouring for it, and now it’s here. Your ticket to Eurovision success is the Eurovision Song Contest Decision Making Tally Counting Act Judging Generator Machine. Honed to perfection over many years, the ESCDMTCAJGM has yet to fail1. It’s guaranteed2 to pick the right winner3.
I’ll be live-twittering the contest, so people might want to un-follow me to avoid the flood. (edit: or not, as twitter’s down atm)