The Teleportation Tweak

It has long been said that you could write ‘increases depth of imaging, lushness, range and soundstage’ on a ferret and you’ll find an audiophile to buy it. This works well with gold-plated, oxygen-free, black, lifted-above-the-carpet cables, but also for magic pens and $1000 wooden knobs. This is because people are rubbish at judging sound quality without a double-blind test. Believe me, I’ve been there – I once told my parents to spend £25 on posh banana plugs. However, I like to think that not even the richest, most scientifically illiterate audiophile on the planet would fall for this:

The Teleportation Tweak is the phenomenal new product from Machina Dynamica. The Teleportation Tweak is an advanced communications technique discovered and developed by Machina Dynamica for upgrading audio systems remotely — even over very long distances. The Teleportation Tweak has a profound effect on the sound and is performed during a phone call to Machina Dynamica; the phone call can be made via landline or cell phone from any room in the house. The Teleportation Tweak is performed over the telephone line and will sound to the listener like a series of mechanical noises. The tweak itself takes about 30 seconds.

Do you think it’s a joke? I hope it’s a joke.