I think Twitter was built for commenting on Eurovision. Is fun.

I recently mentioned that I hooked up an old Suntax flash to my Canon 300D. Although completely manual, I was very happy with the results. I was interested in getting an adapter cable to use the flash off-camera, and while digging around came across warnings regarding using old flashes with new digital cameras. The voltages needed to fire the flashes are far higher than modern devices can support, and you’re in danger of frying your camera. I knew my 300D supports up to 6V, and some googling turned up the voltage of my Suntax 9800A: 68V. I thought this was maybe a typo and meant 6.8, since my camera hadn’t exploded. Then I saw this:

You also need to remember that the Canon Hot Shoe - PC circuit is limited to 6volts. Many third party flashes are much higher then this and require voltage protection, like a Wein Safe Sync. High voltage will fry your shutter over time. The excess voltage is converted to heat.

Bugger. I’ve used the flash a fair bit, and have been rather lucky, it seems. Hopefully there’s no internal damage; it seems to be working fine at the moment, thankfully. I might ask for something compatible for my birthday, though - I like the results too much!

Good news my friends! In time for this evening’s festivities, I present the revamped, renewed, rewound, recreational and rekindled Eurovision Song Contest Decision Making Tally Counting Act Judging Generator Machine 2007! This astonishing spreadsheet is guaranteed to predict the correct result¹. Its results are statistically significant and holistically tumescent! Guaranteed results or your money back!

Its analytical methods have been immeasurably improved upon last year using a mixture of user feedback, psychological studies and capricious whimsy. Fewer Important Factors than previous years make for easier and faster tallying:

Amusingnessness
Innuendo
Campage
Catchiness
Chesticle / Mesticle size (main singers)
Chesticle / Mesticle visibility (main singers)
Cheesy Smiles
Clothy Sparkles
Croonage
Exposed Flesh (all on stage)
Lyrical Insanity

Viewable online here, and as an easily printable PDF.
If you want to alter it (why would you?): Excel and OpenDocument versions.

Here’s hoping for the triumphant return of Doctor Death and The Tooth Fairy. Have fun!

1. in the hands of a skilled user [↩]

The guy overtook me at 80-90mph in the 50 limit. Nothing particularly unusual for my drive home, if a little faster then the usual tailgaters, but a few minutes later I caught him up. He’d dropped down to 30. A couple of cars were between us, and more quickly piled up behind me. The cars ahead began to overtake, but there was definitely something off about the suddenly slow sports car at the front. I hung back. The people behind decided to overtake 3/4 cars at once, and I quickly extricated myself by pulling over for a few seconds. The road was straight, and in the distance I saw the original car accelerate and start overtaking people on a blind corner leading into a steep hill. I saw them all briefly a couple of minutes later, and he appeared to be pulling the same stunt. Christ.

Scientists: I implore you. Whether it’s jetpacks, trainable dragons, teleporters or Minority Report style public transport, please do something to separate the car and the male ego. I don’t want to die just because some jerkoff thinks his three-litre engine makes him a god.

[leaps onto bandwagon]

Had to be done.

Last weekend saw the annual Canalway Cavalcade festival at Little Venice in Paddington. The Ham & High local newspaper wrote up the event, and used four photos I took last year:

Yay! I didn’t get credit, but I’d given the organising committee permission to hand over the images regardless. I’m happy enough they thought my pics were good enough to print. It’s a shame they’re such low quality - it’s like they enlarged the ’small’ flickr versions or something - but is cool nevertheless. The guy standing on the front of the top-right boat is my Dad, so it was an entertaining discovery all round. Many thanks to Liz from the organising committee for asking my permission and being so friendly about the whole process.

A former Massachusetts governor named Mitt Romney is one of 10 republicans seeking the party’s nomination for President. He recently spoke at Regent ‘University’, a Christian institution founded by Pat Robertson, and said:

In France, for instance, I’m told that marriage is now frequently contracted in seven-year terms where either party may move on when their term is up. How shallow and how different from the Europe of the past.

Over to You Are Dumb for post-match analysis:

In case you’re wondering: no, marriage is not contracted in France. Not in seven-year terms or any other. It’s not true. In fact, it’s SO not true that there’s been a great deal of effort put forth in trying to figure out where in the living blue fuck Romney got this idea in his head in the first place.

The leading contender is, I shit you not, the Orson Scott Card book “A Memory Of Earth”.

For some reason I find this incredibly funny. Orson Scott Card is problematic in many ways, but I’ve never heard of anybody believing his fiction before.

I look forward to hearing future tales of the Pilgrim who has become unstuck in time, the snowy drug you take just by looking at it, or countries where the populace allow pets to multiply out of control while battling metallic neighbours whose only goal is assimilation. And, please, nobody tell him about the Death Star Conspiracy.

I’ve just had a letter inviting me for an interview at Westminster University. Yay! I was very concerned I’d applied too late. The letter says I should bring any ‘qualifictions’, which sound fun, and 15-20 images from my portfolio. Hum. Portfolio. Right. Don’t really have one, but I’m sure I can put something together. It needs to be ‘easily navigable both physically and thematically’, and I’ll be presenting it to the group for 5-10 minutes. I’m concerned others will have far more experience than me, mind, but there’s nothing I can do about that. The interview is a week today. I’d best get busy.

Watch this all the way through, and see how your ego copes:

Via Bad Astronomy.

There’s plenty of good writing to be found over at Martin in the Margins, a recent discovery via B4L’s Recent Posts. Recent topics include secularism, humanism and the West Wing. Thankfully he doesn’t appear to have a monkey obsession, or I’d be nervous.

I must not read Madeline Bunting’s article in today’s Guardian. It would be a bad idea. Have things to do. Must not. Must not.

I’m just back from seeing Next, the big screen adaptation of Philip K. Dick’s ‘The Golden Man’ short story. It continues the grand tradition of adapting PKD such that it relates to the original as necrotising fasciitis does Umberto Eco¹. I spent much of it wanting to give Julianne Moore a hug. Here is a joke from the script, and you should read it like you’re Nicholas Cage:

A zen buddhist goes up to a hot dog stand. He says “make me one with everything”.

No. Wait. That was the screenplay in my head. The one that made sense. In reality:

A zen buddhist goes up to a hot dog stand. He says “I’ll have one with everything”.

I would like to file a bug report.

Not one of my favourite films ever.

1. original version: as a lit fart does the Great Fire of London. That’d be crass, though. [↩]

Since this is my blog, I feel no shame in mentioning it is only 13 days until my birthday. None at all.

This year I was able to vote Labour, unlike last time. Yay. Hopefully Kerron will now forgive me for boosting the Lib Dems, although he’s in a similar predicament.

I’d pay to see it:

[youtube width="425" height="335"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWuji6TADXM[/youtube]

“Remember me now, Peter, remember me now?!”

Via Pharyngula. Like one of the commenters says, isn’t this the actual plot of the Left Behind series?

This is as good a place as any to mention the funniest thing I read all week: in a discussion of ‘Colony Collapse Disorder’, in which beehives are failing when their occupants fail to return, somebody suggested that the bees may have been raptured. It’s a good job I wasn’t drinking at the time.

I’m trying to get an overview of contemporary photographers in (hopeful - I haven’t heard anything yet) preparation for the degree interview. It’s slow going as I’m easily distracted by the beauty of people’s online portfolios. I think I might have mentioned George Lange before, but it’s worth repeating: his 2006 flipbook has had me poring over portrait photography articles all year. Then there’s Dave Hill, whose stylish and immediately recognisable images twist the definition of ‘photograph’. The always cool Annie Liebovitz recently photographed the Queen, and the resulting image was unveiled today. It’s oddly rare to find a photo going for grandeur rather than ‘the real person behind the throne’.

It’s only a couple of days until 24 Hours of Flickr:

On May 5, 2007, grab your camera and whatever else you need, and chronicle your day in pictures. The group’s photos will be featured at Flickr events around the world this summer and in a companion book, which will contain a selection of photographs chosen from the group

Sounds like fun! I’ll be taking part. Thankfully Friday should be slightly more visually interesting than normal, as I’ll be heading down to London in the evening.¹. On Saturday I’ll be at the Cavalcade boat show at Little Venice, which has been promoted using some photos I took at last year’s event. I’m promised that this year will be completely Scientology-free, after I and apparently many others complained bitterly. They’re all busy, anyway. Vultures.

Finally, Damien has some excellent link fodder and great wedding photography tips over at the always interesting Wedding Photography Blog. The ‘get in close’ advice is particularly relevant to me: I find myself cropping almost every photo I take, but forcing myself to close in while ‘in the field’ is surprisingly difficult.

1. edited due to muppetry [↩]