I didn’t think I could be surprised by mainstream coverage of pseudoscience, then along came the Independent with “My war on electrosmog: Julia Stephenson sets out to clear the airwaves”. The subtitle is:

How one woman fought back after being diagnosed by her naturopath with overexposure to Wi-Fi and mobile phone frequencies

and the whole thing similarly reads like an Onion article. To say it gets worse is an understatement. Here’s a sample:

“Any imbalance in our electromagnetic field creates a disturbance in cell structure and function, which can lead to illness in sensitive individuals,” says London-based complementary health practitioner Dr Nicole de Canha.

Even cordless hands-free home telephones - such a boon to multitaskers, enabling one to patiently listen to friends and family for hours while cleaning cupboards, re-potting house plants and reorganising the CD collection - are now off-limits. Their electrical force-field is nearly as powerful as that of a mobile phone. Since I’m now chained to a phone on a lead, my cupboards are filthy and my friends are neglected. But at least I’m less radioactive.

Radioactive?! (also, why the filth and neglect?)

We also have magical ‘holograph field’ pendants, ‘electro-dictatorships’, homeopathic drops that may ‘reduce the amount of radiation in the body’ and liberal quoting of people who appear to have no training in electrical engineering or medicine, all wrapped up in a brightly coloured cape of paranoid scaremongering.

Anybody playing a pseudoscientific drinking game would die. Do you think it could be a spoof? It’s almost too ridiculous. As ever, Bad Science has the best coverage.