The guy overtook me at 80-90mph in the 50 limit. Nothing particularly unusual for my drive home, if a little faster then the usual tailgaters, but a few minutes later I caught him up. He’d dropped down to 30. A couple of cars were between us, and more quickly piled up behind me. The cars ahead began to overtake, but there was definitely something off about the suddenly slow sports car at the front. I hung back. The people behind decided to overtake 3/4 cars at once, and I quickly extricated myself by pulling over for a few seconds. The road was straight, and in the distance I saw the original car accelerate and start overtaking people on a blind corner leading into a steep hill. I saw them all briefly a couple of minutes later, and he appeared to be pulling the same stunt. Christ.

Scientists: I implore you. Whether it’s jetpacks, trainable dragons, teleporters or Minority Report style public transport, please do something to separate the car and the male ego. I don’t want to die just because some jerkoff thinks his three-litre engine makes him a god.