Good news my friends! In time for this evening’s festivities, I present the revamped, renewed, rewound, recreational and rekindled Eurovision Song Contest Decision Making Tally Counting Act Judging Generator Machine 2007! This astonishing spreadsheet is guaranteed to predict the correct result1. Its results are statistically significant and holistically tumescent! Guaranteed results or your money back!
Its analytical methods have been immeasurably improved upon last year using a mixture of user feedback, psychological studies and capricious whimsy. Fewer Important Factors than previous years make for easier and faster tallying:
Chesticle / Mesticle size (main singers)
Chesticle / Mesticle visibility (main singers)
Exposed Flesh (all on stage)
Here’s hoping for the triumphant return of Doctor Death and The Tooth Fairy. Have fun!
- in the hands of a skilled user [↩]