Next

I’m just back from seeing Next, the big screen adaptation of Philip K. Dick’s ‘The Golden Man’ short story. It continues the grand tradition of adapting PKD such that it relates to the original as necrotising fasciitis does Umberto Eco1. I spent much of it wanting to give Julianne Moore a hug. Here is a joke from the script, and you should read it like you’re Nicholas Cage:

A zen buddhist goes up to a hot dog stand. He says “make me one with everything”.

No. Wait. That was the screenplay in my head. The one that made sense. In reality:

A zen buddhist goes up to a hot dog stand. He says “I’ll have one with everything”.

I would like to file a bug report.

Not one of my favourite films ever.

  1. original version: as a lit fart does the Great Fire of London. That’d be crass, though. []