Tristan Thorn vs. Inigo Montoya vs. Captain Jack Sparrow

From an interview with Jane Goldman, screenwriter of Stardust1:

FoEM: I’ve been thinking about the various comparisons in the press (mainly from the preview audiences) that Stardust resembles The Princess Bride and The Pirates of the Carribean, who would win at a sword fight between Tristan Thorn, Inigo Montoya, and Captain Jack Sparrow if they were all up against each other?

Well, I’d have to say probably not Tristan. I can’t imagine him even wanting to get involved in a sword fight unless he really had to, for some reason he felt really passionate about.

Skill-wise, my money would probably be on Inigo, especially if Captain Jack had been drinking, but Jack seems to be one of those guys with luck on his side, so I imagine that perhaps a piece of heavy furniture might fall on Inigo at the last minute.

I wouldn’t like to see them fight, though. I’d hate any of them to get hurt. I like them all too much. Could they perhaps all wrestle each other instead? I’d definitely watch that.

Please. Inigo Montoya would dispose of them, left-handed, while thinking mostly about breakfast. Tristan’s not so much with the sword fighting, and Captain Jack Sparrow couldn’t find his arse with a map and tethered stick. “My name is Inigo Montoya. You are drunk and not funny, yet women inexplicably love you. Prepare to die.”

  1. and wife of Jonathan Ross, which feels terribly unfair to mention given her independent fame []