FoEM: I’ve been thinking about the various comparisons in the press (mainly from the preview audiences) that Stardust resembles The Princess Bride and The Pirates of the Carribean, who would win at a sword fight between Tristan Thorn, Inigo Montoya, and Captain Jack Sparrow if they were all up against each other?
Well, I’d have to say probably not Tristan. I can’t imagine him even wanting to get involved in a sword fight unless he really had to, for some reason he felt really passionate about.
Skill-wise, my money would probably be on Inigo, especially if Captain Jack had been drinking, but Jack seems to be one of those guys with luck on his side, so I imagine that perhaps a piece of heavy furniture might fall on Inigo at the last minute.
I wouldn’t like to see them fight, though. I’d hate any of them to get hurt. I like them all too much. Could they perhaps all wrestle each other instead? I’d definitely watch that.
Please. Inigo Montoya would dispose of them, left-handed, while thinking mostly about breakfast. Tristan’s not so much with the sword fighting, and Captain Jack Sparrow couldn’t find his arse with a map and tethered stick. “My name is Inigo Montoya. You are drunk and not funny, yet women inexplicably love you. Prepare to die.”
- and wife of Jonathan Ross, which feels terribly unfair to mention given her independent fame [↩]