I finally figured out how to view search keywords in my drowning-in-corporatespeak Google Analytics statistics (it’s in ‘Marketing Optimization’ -> ‘Search Engine Marketing’ -> ‘Overall Keyword Conversion’, if you’re interested). Some of my favourite ones so far this month:
- morena baccarin nuked – Typo or extreme fetish?
- is cornstarch the same as cornflour – I remember trying to figure this out, and sympathise with the questioner. Pretty much.
- homeopathic cures for earwax – Don’t be silly.
- team america best lines – I think he’s trying to tell us something. Gary, you can’t blame yourself for what gorillas did. There is no ‘I’ in Team America. Arec Barrrwiiiin.
- andrew+nice – It’s true.
- death by aspiration – Time for a war on want.
- can smoking kill animals – If they’re already on fire, it’s probably too late.
- why do cats drool? – Because they are cats. Obviously. If they were dogs, they would rule.
Also, people continue to be fascinated by wank-a-thons, rasturbation and Lost.