I finally figured out how to view search keywords in my drowning-in-corporatespeak Google Analytics statistics (it’s in ‘Marketing Optimization’ -> ‘Search Engine Marketing’ -> ‘Overall Keyword Conversion’, if you’re interested). Some of my favourite ones so far this month:

• morena baccarin nuked - Typo or extreme fetish?
• is cornstarch the same as cornflour - I remember trying to figure this out, and sympathise with the questioner. Pretty much.
• homeopathic cures for earwax - Don’t be silly.
• team america best lines - I think he’s trying to tell us something. Gary, you can’t blame yourself for what gorillas did. There is no ‘I’ in Team America. Arec Barrrwiiiin.
• andrew+nice - It’s true.
• death by aspiration - Time for a war on want.
• can smoking kill animals - If they’re already on fire, it’s probably too late.
• why do cats drool? - Because they are cats. Obviously. If they were dogs, they would rule.

Also, people continue to be fascinated by wank-a-thons, rasturbation and Lost.