The One O’Clock news just claimed Thorntons are reporting 1 in 5 customers buying two of the same Valentine’s gift, and putting different names on each. At the risk of embarrassing myself: there is no way this is true. Even if you accept the dubiously high number of affairs, there’s no chance so many would have the sheer nerve to ask for that in a shop. And people really buy both¹ the exact same present? Also, the staff are really collecting stats on this kind of thing? I can’t find any references online and yes, I’m an optimist, but I don’t believe it. It’s got to be a massive misquotation.

1. is there a male version of ‘mistress’? ‘Mister’? [↩]