So there was a slight fire in my kitchen. Is all ok - it was only small and nothing’s damaged - but that’s the first time I’ve had one that actually scared me for a few seconds. I think the sausages must have been too close to the grill, although they definitely weren’t touching. I heard the noise and pulled out the tray to find alarmingly high flames spreading across the fat beneath the sausages (which themselves were fine). My thought process was something like:

Oh, shit. Right. What to do. Is fat like oil? It seems like it might be like oil. Best not to dump it in sink. Might explode / set room on fire. Ok. That’s good. Kept my head under pressure. Yay. Not dead. So. If I can’t use water, what else? Smother it! With what? The teatowel? No, too small. What else? The duvet! No, that’s just stupid. Um…

At which point it burnt itself out, which I guess was inevitable given that it was confined to a small area of fat. I like to think I would have got as far as a wet towel had it continued, though. Things I have learnt:

1. Cook sausages further away from grill. Actually, cook sausages in the oven instead.
2. I should refresh my knowledge of what to do with various types of fire. I’m sure I knew at one point, but I’ve apparently forgotten.
3. I should possibly get a cheap extinguisher.

I’m trying to get better at cooking, and have putting more effort into the evening meals recently. Admittedly this wasn’t particularly adventurous - they weren’t llama sausages or anything - but I’m going to look at it as a rite of passage thing