House prices to rise, says hamster

And in breaking economic news from the BBC:

One out of every three people expects UK house prices to increase by more than 6% in 2007, a survey suggests.

One in three! I love the traditional Christmas -> Hogmanay twilight zone of news.

Some 55% of the 1,500 people polled by financial website Thisismoney said the cost would rise, with one in 10 predicting hikes of at least 11%.

One in four of the respondents forecast a rise of up to 5%, but the same number expected a fall of more than 6%.

Insider tips tell me tomorrow’s headine will concentrate on the length of the Emperor of China’s nose. It all seems rather pointless, but Thisismoney also uses the results to infer a more optimistic market, which seems to make more sense.

I like the six percent who chose 25% or higher. I wonder if these are the people who, when asked ‘what is the name of Postman Pat’s pet’ during an Ask the Audience, select Cringer just so they can say ‘that was me’.

Website polls are inherently problematic. I can prove it, too: earlier this year a poll on this very website revealed that The People are most likely to repel a zombie invasion with chainsaws. This is clearly flawed. Zombie documentary 28 Days Later provided strong evidence for a correlation between bodily-fluid contact and zombification. Chainsaws are inherently messy, and would increase this risk exponentially1. I would suggest that zombies want you to carve them up with chainsaws2. Far more sensible suggestions were records, ninjas and Snakes. On a plane.

  1. caveat: ‘exponentially’ is an ad-hoc hypothesis. Further research is needed. []
  2. see footnote 1 []