Keeping my mouth closed
Sometimes it's all but impossible not to argue back. I can't help it. Any bugbear combined with a mid-paragraph, offhand 'well, of course...' comment arouses some guttural instinctive reaction, and I feel it is my duty as part of the universe to take that argument down. I've met people who seem able to do this to me with everything they say; the most trivial matters suddenly seem like the most important issue ever in my head. Maybe it's when it's couched in cynicism - I should really start paying attention.
If I don't react I know I'll spend the rest of the day quietly fuming, but sometimes it's not a good idea. It's family, or close friends, or somebody who wasn't speaking with the intention of arguing, and any reaction would make things awkward. Sometimes you have to let it go, and I'm not very good at that. Part of me says I'm 23, dammit, I can worry about being responsible when I'm older and have other people who rely on me. But it's probably wise to pick my battles.
There are some topics that are red flags when combined with a certain kind of attitude, and in the last year it's been:
- Sexism / anti-gay sentiment (probably race too, but I rarely encounter that personally).
- Morality comes only from religion.
- Faith is a virtue.
- 'You have to keep an open mind'.
- All politicians are useless and corrupt.
- Atheism is a faith position.
I don't know why these irritate more than other issues, but I hate them. I tend to have an additional reaction to the sexism one in that I lose all interest in the person who says it. It's not deliberate, it just happens; it's like my brain says 'well, there's clearly no point wasting time and energy on somebody who thinks that' and once the initial flurry of comebacks fades I just don't care about that person any more. Which I feel a little guilty about, but I can live with. The other issues aren't the same, probably because it's possible to have an interesting discussion with normally quite interesting people. But sexism and homophobia? I'm happy to fight them at the time, but it never ends well and I don't need to know people like that.
I'm quite proud of myself today. Can't go into the details for obvious reasons, but I've managed to resist the temptation. So I thought I'd be annoying and blog about it in the hope it'll be cathartic 
I think everybody should be made to transcribe everything they say onto blogs with open comments. I'll implement that policy when I'm Emperor.
Hello!
Hey, thanks for coming! I'm Andrew, and this is where my headthinks come to breed. They often meander around humanism and photography, but they're flighty and you can't trust them, so anything is possible.
Do feel free to email me - I get lonely:
Your hair looks swish, by the way - have you done something new?
Recent Comments
- vicky: going up this weekend having done all the welsh peaks except 4 snowdon, cant wait
on Climbing Snowdon. - vicky: what, how can u live in the 21 c and say that, probably a sexist thing
on Climbing Snowdon. - vicky: da iawn laura, cant believe what im hearing, all this fuss, anyway love the site, and i agree, normal people who swear and curse clomb mountains cos we live in the...
on Climbing Snowdon. - Andrew: Did a few quick test shots to check the light levels, then balanced the camera on the arm of a bench, set it for a 20s exposure and hoped for the best
on ISS. - lynsey: Wow, how did you take that photograph?
on ISS.
December 8th, 2006 - 04:33
A serious question: when you speak of your hatred of ‘sexism’, does this include sexism against men? It’s just that I encounter that increasingly.
December 8th, 2006 - 12:45
‘You have to keep an open mind’ Andrew, don’t get so riled up about it.
Sexism against men? Hmmmm, by and large very few incidences occur I think. The only notable issues I can think of are: Custody battles for children and Sheila’s ‘Goddamn’ Wheels. These car insurance adverts aimed specifically at women are really annoying. In fact I’ve had a fair few accusations thrown my way of being sexist against women for even voicing my protest against them. Complete double standards.
A friend of mine was so upset at not being able to get cheaper car insurance that he didn’t notice the red light. Thanks Sheila.
December 8th, 2006 - 18:02
I can’t recall a time when I’ve come across sexism against men, but then I don’t really do the kind of things where I would…If I’m honest I doubt it’d raise the same instinctive ire (I know people who’ve directly experienced homophobia and sexism against women, which I guess is where that comes from), but I’d still be annoyed after thinking about it.
I can see how it seems reasonable if women really are safer drivers, but you’re right – reverse the genders and it becomes grubby.
December 9th, 2006 - 11:37
I don’t have any problems with the concept of women getting cheaper car insurance, for the reason stated above (mind you, the advertisments for ‘Diamond’ and ‘Sheila’s Wheels’ are damned annoying). What I take issue as regards, however, is the number of advertisments that portray men as idiots, constantly being outsmarted by women. Or eight times as much being spent on women’s health, as is on men’s health. Or it being seen as okay (in fact, often funny, especially when it comes to the balls) for a woman to cause physical pain to a man, but not vice versa. Or divorce settlements. Or men being expected to pay for women (which is becoming less common, as an attitude, but still exists).
I actually think that, in the western world, the idea of it being a man’s world is something of a fallacy. But, anyway, I strongly dislike sexism, too; but against men, as well as women, and I consider many examples of which to be being overlooked, being as, traditionally, things worked mainly the other way round.
I also hate homophobia; this hatred is accentuated by the the fact that I tend to find homosexuals to be very friendly, polite people. Also perhaps because the only people who ever tell me I’m good looking, besides my grandma, are gays.
Anyway, do excuse the rambling; it’s Saturday morning, and I’m feeling the effects of last night…….