I don’t know what happened to the last six months of 2006. January - July passed at the usual speed, then suddenly it was Christmas. I suspect rogue Dalek involvement.

Highlights:

• Watching Moulin Rouge at a drive-in cinema, even if they did show the reels in the wrong order.
• A very last minute trip to New York for a date. It didn’t work out, but was worth the attempt. While I was there I got to skate on the Central Park ice rink, a long-time ambition of mine.
• Arguing a lot about Richard Dawkins on this site, and getting my copy of The Blind Watchmaker signed when he came to my local civic hall.
• Sitting in the Strictly Come Dancing audience when Mark and Karen did their salsa.
• Meeting up with fellow bloggers on a number of occasions.
• Generally coping ok with living on my own.
• Two dancing weekends, one in Symonds Yat, the other in Blackpool.
• Writing (the first draft of) a novel.
• Climbing Snowdon.
• Ann Druyan leaving a comment on this blog.

Films: Good Night and Good Luck, The Last Kiss, Children of Men, Superman Returns, Team America: World Police, Corpse Bride, Walk the Line.
TV: ‘The Girl in the Fireplace’ episode of Doctor Who, and the final five minutes of the second series (I don’t know many people who didn’t cry), Lost, Sports Night, Strictly Come Dancing, The Root of All Evil?, Scrubs, The West Wing, 24, Green Wing.
Books: The End of Faith, The War for Children’s Minds, The Sandman, The God Delusion, Blink, The Tipping Point, Snow Crash, Neverwhere.
Music: The Feeling, Muse, Scissor Sisters.
Theatre: Jerry Springer: The Opera (my review of which got this site banned in libraries), Much Ado About Nothing.
Other: The Skeptics’ Guide to the Universe, too many blogs to mention.

Lowlights:

I’m incredibly lucky that there hasn’t been much. We lost the family dog in March, which was dreadful; I upset a couple of people with online comments about religion - I still don’t think I did anything wrong, but I don’t like that it happened; a couple of fallings out with friends that thankfully sorted themselves out; three interviews that didn’t result in jobs…Plenty of people have it far worse.

Resolutions for 2007:

• Write more. Stephen King says six days a week, and he probably knows what he’s talking about.
• Read more. I’ve read a fair bit this year, but not as much as I’d like.
• Get more involved with the BHA.
• I like Scribbles’ idea, too.

Overall, I award 2006 a B+ and smiley-face sticker. Thanks to anybody who’s read/commented/linked to this blog over the year - it’s very much appreciated. Happy 2007!

I’d never been to a surprise party until recently, but that’s two in the last few weeks. My dance teachers set one up for their son’s 21st birthday and invited all of their students. This seemed a little odd - we’ve never actually met the guy - but we were happy to go along and on Thursday evening arrived at our usual dance hall to find it packed with people and a mobile disco¹. I wasn’t expecting it to be quite so large an event.

I always used to hate that kind of party. I’d no idea how to deal with drunk people, I certainly didn’t have enough confidence to dance, and there would always be a couple of loud, deeply unpleasant guys that (it seemed like) all the girls nevertheless fawned over. I’d end up sitting in a corner feeling inferior. I hadn’t been to such a party for years, and I admit that for about ten minutes on Thursday the old associations came back and I wanted to do was leave. Happily, that faded - yay for being older. I can’t claim to have relaxed completely, but the feeling of being out of place decreased to a gentle simmer.

The birthday boy arrived to cheers and seemed rather bemused by it all. After a rendition of ‘Happy Birthday’ the disco started up again, playing medleys from the ’70s and, oddly, ’80s. Most guests were in their early 20’s or parents in their late 40’s, and you’d think few were listening to music in the ’80s. Lynsey tells me that the ’80s nights at her university were the most popular, though, so apparently my theory has a flaw somewhere. Small slips of paper were provided for requests, and after a few not-so-subtle hints I handed in one for the Macarena. It turns out I’m one of the few people in the world who doesn’t know the Macarena moves off by heart. I should remedy that.

For a group who’ve been learning to dance for two years, there was a lot of two-step shuffling going on It was interesting that our group had far fewer inhibitions over stepping onto the dancefloor than the birthday boy and his friends, although it didn’t take them long. I was dragged up at one point but only lasted a song. I like dancing when I’ve actually something to do, but shuffling about just makes me feel silly - I’ll have to work at getting over that one. I spent a while sitting at the edge of the dancefloor feeling like a bit of a tit, but eventually got up for a cha-cha and a jive when the appropriate rhythms were played, and had a good time.

There’s a horrible, horrible line in ‘Children of Men’ when Julianne Moore says something like: “The ringing in your ears is the sound of cells dying. You’ll never hear that frequency again.” It’s impossible not to think of this when leaving a loud party, especially when by the end I was noticing my ears distorting the sound slightly at the higher volume levels. Sorry to sound terribly old! It was an interesting evening, and as far as I could tell most people enjoyed themselves. I probably didn’t do as well as I’d have liked, but didn’t have a bad time overall. I think the birthday boy had fun, which is the important thing.

1. do people still say ‘disco’? [↩]

I don’t think there’s any real-world justification for executing people, no matter how vile they may be. I’m not going to pretend I’m sad he’s gone, though. It is at least heartening that the death penalty is condemned in the vast majority of official national responses collected by the BBC.

I find Tony Scott to be a remarkably consistent director. I can only think of a couple of his films I haven’t much enjoyed, and even then they’ve been interesting to watch. I don’t know whether he’s very good at picking intelligent scripts or he just makes them seem that way, but I’ve left the cinema after seeing Spy Game, Man on Fire and Deja Vu feeling like I’ve been told a complex story very well. He can certainly craft an action scene, too. I walked into Deja Vu this evening without any idea of the plot other than one viewing of the trailer, and it really suited this kind of blind viewing. I thought it was great fun, clever and well made, plus not at all what I expected. Recommended by me.

Did anybody else watch The Ruby in the Smoke last night? I was very impressed with Julie Walters - she was really quite unpleasant, and you wouldn’t know it was the same actress as was in Calendar Girls at the weekend. I quite liked the rest of the show too, but then I’ve always been a sucker for Victorian murder mysteries. Hopefully it was successful enough that they’ll film the sequels. The original stories are by Philip Pullman, and have been sitting on my to-read shelf for years.

Next Christmas will see the release of the first film from Philip Pullman’s His Dark Materials trilogy. It’ll be named after the US book title of ‘The Golden Compass’ as compared to the UK’s ‘Northern Lights’. I never understood why it would have such an odd title - the alethiometer from the tale is clearly not a compass - and the standard response of ’stupid Americans’ is clearly ridiculous. It turns out that Philip Pullman has explained that while looking for an overall title for the trilogy he temporarily chose ‘the golden compasses’, a quote from Paradise Lost…

Meanwhile, in the US, it was being read by the editors at Alfred A. Knopf. Someone decided (mistakenly, but firmly) that the title referred to Lyra’s alethiometer, which could be regarded as a sort of golden compass, but of the direction-finding and not circle-drawing sort. So the same someone or another someone decided to refer to the first book, for their own internal discussing-a-forthcoming-book purposes, as THe GOLDEN COMPASS.

Meanwhile, back in the UK, I had found the much better phrase, HIS DARK MATERIALS, for the title of the trilogy. I quote the passage from which it comes at the very beginning of the first book. Better, because it’s more atmospheric, and there’s the uncanny resemblance to ‘dark matter’, which figures largely in the story. So out went THE GOLDEN COMPASSES, and in came HIS DARK MATERIALS.

Meanwhile, back in the USA, the publishers had become so attached to THE GOLDEN COMPASS that nothing I could say could persuade them to call the book NORTHERN LIGHTS. Their obduracy in this matter was accompanied by such generosity in the matter of royalty advances, flattery, promises of publicity, etc, that I thought it would be churlish to deny them this small pleasure.

What’s the betting it was just the one guy? I’m quite looking forward to the film. Nicole Kidman as Ms Coulter fits well with the image in my head (the similarities to another Ms Coulter are remarkably prescient, too), and, despite earlier reports, references to God and religion have not been axed from the script. I don’t actually think this would have been possible; the trilogy has a very strong humanist/atheist theme, and the third novel in particular takes no prisoners. Hopefully it’ll open against Voyage of the Dawn Treader

Dear ITV,

The film ‘Jurassic Park’ involves dinosaurs eating people. I’m afraid it’s built into the script, and there’s no way to avoid it. If you’re worried that children might get upset by dinosaurs eating people, maybe you shouldn’t show the movie at four in the afternoon. Sure, perhaps have a go at editing out all the dramatic parts, but for future reference it’s time to stop when the action scenes no longer make sense. It’s also a little odd to get all puritanical over cartoon violence yet retain the word ’shit’.

Yours,

Andrew

I’ve been a fan of Calvin and Hobbes since my uncle showed me a collection of the strips when I was ten. The adventures of the boy and his tiger friend ended a decade ago, but you wouldn’t know it from the collections in bookstores and the many online references. By turns touching, wry and laugh-out-loud funny, and always beautifully drawn, there’s a sense of decency and childlike (not ish) wonder behind the panels that creates something unique. I’ve read all the strips at one time or another but don’t have all the books, and those I do are so well thumbed that some are falling apart. This is no longer a problem, as for Christmas my parents bought me The Complete Calvin and Hobbes:

The volumes are heavily bound, printed on high-grade art paper and absolutely gorgeous. They’re simply wonderful to hold and look through, although I’m already paranoid about keeping them in good condition - don’t grip the pages to turn them, just brush the edges! As well as every strip ever published, they include the special artwork from the collections and a new introduction from the famously enigmatic Bill Watterson. When inside their display box the books are pleasingly weighty, but apparently Amazon were still happy to deliver it for free.

It’s very rare to find anything new C&H related. The author has refused all merchandising requests, and any t-shirts, car stickers, toy Hobbes¹ etc. are all unofficial. This is a real treat. Thanks, Mum & Dad

1. I’ve never seen a decent toy Hobbes, actually - I doubt it’s possible to capture that personality in a real-life object [↩]

And in breaking economic news from the BBC:

One out of every three people expects UK house prices to increase by more than 6% in 2007, a survey suggests.

One in three! I love the traditional Christmas -> Hogmanay twilight zone of news.

Some 55% of the 1,500 people polled by financial website Thisismoney said the cost would rise, with one in 10 predicting hikes of at least 11%.

One in four of the respondents forecast a rise of up to 5%, but the same number expected a fall of more than 6%.

Insider tips tell me tomorrow’s headine will concentrate on the length of the Emperor of China’s nose. It all seems rather pointless, but Thisismoney also uses the results to infer a more optimistic market, which seems to make more sense.

I like the six percent who chose 25% or higher. I wonder if these are the people who, when asked ‘what is the name of Postman Pat’s pet’ during an Ask the Audience, select Cringer just so they can say ‘that was me’.

Website polls are inherently problematic. I can prove it, too: earlier this year a poll on this very website revealed that The People are most likely to repel a zombie invasion with chainsaws. This is clearly flawed. Zombie documentary 28 Days Later provided strong evidence for a correlation between bodily-fluid contact and zombification. Chainsaws are inherently messy, and would increase this risk exponentially¹. I would suggest that zombies want you to carve them up with chainsaws². Far more sensible suggestions were records, ninjas and Snakes. On a plane.

1. caveat: ‘exponentially’ is an ad-hoc hypothesis. Further research is needed. [↩]
2. see footnote 1 [↩]

Yesterday morning: I’m in Argos, picking up some gifts my sister reserved online. I pay, leave the shop and am accosted by a monk. He notes that I am carrying bags. I agree. He asks for money for the homeless. It being Christmas Eve, I throw some change into his bag, figuring that at least he hasn’t asked me to set up a direct debit. He hands me a small book, and asks whether I am an artist. I say that I’ve done some writing. He suggests I try meditation and yoga to improve, then wishes me happy holidays and leaves. My mind wanders onto a million other things as I head home.

Yesterday evening: My sister isn’t able to pick up the gifts, so asks whether we can wrap them for her. Dad says yep, and hops off to dig out the wrapping paper.

This morning: My sister and her boyfriend come over. She gives him his presents. He unwraps and looks bemused at the first: a copy of Civilization and Transcendence by His Divine Grace A.C Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. My sister and father are entirely confused. My mother and I are in fits of laughter. Turns out that my saying “Jane’s presents are in the Argos bag on the side”, while accurate, wasn’t the whole story. I’d wondered where I’d put it.

I write this annually, but it’s still true: today’s definitely the best day of the year. It’s just…nice. I watched Scrooged this morning while wrapping presents (normally I can’t stand slapstick, but I love it when she hits him with the toaster) and am just back from delivering them, Santa-like but for the beard, to friends in the area. It’s my favourite job of the week.

I’m staying with my parents for a while as I can’t be having with waking up alone on Christmas Day, plus they have large amounts of chocolate…It is of course good to see them too Tomorrow eleven relatives will descend upon us, including a three-year-old and Megan, so it gets somewhat manic. I think I’ll escape upstairs to watch the Christmas specials of Doctor Who and Strictly. As for now, I feel A Muppet Christmas Carol coming on…

The code in the post title is a gift item in the iTunes Store, so the first person to redeem it will receive a few Christmassy songs from me. Merry Christmas to anybody reading!

I was waiting for one more parcel, and thankfully it was sitting outside my door this morning. Phew. This is turning into a bad habit, and one year I’m sure it’ll backfire…Just have to finish up the wrapping and I’m done. Hooray!

I’m rather excited about the Strictly final. From past performances I’d expect Mark to win, but it’s only fair to vote according to this evening’s routines. I hope the result is based on performance and not just because people like Matt. With five dances each(!) there’s plenty of time to form an opinion, happily. Hopefully there’ll be no repeats of last year’s Muppetgate, too I’ll be heading across to a party in Leamington between the Strictly shows. I haven’t managed to avoid hearing the results the last two times I’ve tried, and I think there’s very little point even attempting it tonight - I’m sure I can talk the host into turning on the tv for the results.

It may look like a rip-off to charge £23.99 for a 4-port hub just because it’s in the shape of a tardis, but if you can get it open there are apparently 48 more ports inside.

‘Brother’?!

Despite having read both blogs for really quite a long time, I’ve only just realised that this Marie is this Marie. I…

I…

That’s really quite impressive, isn’t it? I feel a career in private detecting is slipping away.

Now I’m wondering how many other Really Obvious Things there are that I don’t know. They could be lurking anywhere. If you need me, I’ll be in a cupboard.

The floor is ten centimetres of solid glass, with a view directly down into the Grand Canyon:

Obviously that’s an artist’s rendering, but the real thing will open to the public this coming March. Looks fun