Bigfoot goes camping

Even in my most credulous days, I was never convinced by Bigfoot. Nothing’s changed since I started looking at these things rationally, especially when the son of a prankster produced the foot moulds his late father used to manufacture forty years of hoaxes, reportedly also involving photos, video and audio recordings. The lack of bodies, hair samples, feces, bones, fossil evidence or any kind of clear photograph suggested it was all just wishful thinking.

I am now forced to revise my opinion, on the basis of this new image from the High Sierras of California:


Bigfoot is on the left, the other person is presumably Mrs Henderson. You must see him – the big brown amorphous blob above the car. There’s a vaguely face-like thing, and if you accept that you can infer an arm and torso. The official page also suggests there’s a penis just above the car bonnet.

Aside from the obvious possibility of it just being a tree+pareidolia, the perspective doesn’t work, does it? The car’s sloping upwards, so Bigfoot’s legs must be very short indeed and completely out of proportion with the rest of the body, and accounting for the distance between Bigfoot and the car, the head can’t be much smaller than the rear tyre. He’s also oddly flat against the vertical plane, when you’d think he’d be at an angle. Unless he’s standing in a hole. Or praying. I hear Bigfeet do that. I’m pretty sure no ape/gorilla I’ve ever seen had such a visible penis, either.

We should bear in mind, of course, that:

Bigfoot does not stand and pose, like a cow or squirrel.

Damn attention-seeking squirrels.