Late night news trawl

Britney files for divorce – Do you think every gossip columnist in the world is avoiding his/her editor’s eye right now? I don’t follow this kind of stuff much, but I’m sure I would have heard rumblings if it were on the cards. She was making headlines just this morning with no mention of future announcements.

Pupil describes sex with teacher – Don’t think I need to read that one, thanks.

Suicide-bid sparks punch-up – Some teenagers in the crowd shouted ‘jump’ and were set upon by everyone else. Looks like the person in question was too high up to hear any of it, and happily she was talked down by police.

The Archers celebrates 15,000th episode, with controversial storyline – A woman contemplated having an affair. Really. She didn’t go through with it. Society lives to face another day. ‘One listener wrote to Radio 4’s website, saying: “I thought The Archers was supposed to be a radio series with an agricultural theme, not an audio version of a Jackie Collins novel.”‘ One listener needs a nice tall glass of calm-down juice1. Didn’t the show have somebody get chopped up by a combine harvester once?

  1. © Scrubs []