The UN should step in

Previously, I would never have considered myself anti-American. But I am now forced to revise my stance over a truly important issue. They get Superman Returns two whole weeks earlier than the UK. This Friday, in fact. Two weeks! Have they any idea how excited I am about it? Two weeks of reading first sentences of blog posts. Two weeks of posters, newspaper articles, and odd conspiracy theories. There are already adverts everywhere, and whenever I hear the first bars of John Williams’ score I get the shivers. It’s just not fair, dammit. And now look: I have to pick up all my toys. Hmph.