News item of the day:

Insurers have withdrawn the cover on their virginity taken out by three sisters in the event of the second coming of Christ.

The grammar seems to suggest that the women were worried about Jesus turning up and bonking the staff of the insurance company (twice, perhaps). I don’t think this is the point. The women were concerned that, should they immaculately conceive the messiah, they would not have enough money to cover the cost of raising him. This is obviously a legitimate worry. I mean, there’d be press conferences, entertainments licenses, temple refittings, donkey-hire…That kid would be expensive. On the other hand, you’d think they’d cover some of it with reduced food bills.

The siblings had paid £100 annually since 2000. If they had secured a payout, they stood to receive £1m.

He added: “The Catholic Church is up in arms about what we’ve been doing. We have withdrawn the cover because it was causing a furore.

Things I don’t understand:

1. The Catholic Church declined to comment. Wow. Aside from that, what is their problem with this? Is having a child forced upon you not something that should be recompensed?
2. You’re telling me that an insurance company turned down money on a cover on which there was not the remotest chance they’d ever have to pay out? What kind of broken insurance company is this?