Scary Me

UK tax returns are due in by the end of January at the latest, so it becomes the busiest month by far for accountants. No matter how many letters they send out each June, Mum and Dad always have to work flat-out for four weeks as the records slowly roll in. So today we went out for a celebratory lunchtime meal. I then hung around and walked Megan, set up a new printer and worked on various other computer problems. I’d also left some clothes in the washing machine – a jumper and a pair of boxer shorts (this is relevant – really) so I put them on the to-take-home pile. I grabbed some food there too, then watched Two Weeks Notice on ITV1 and got annoyed by the missing apostrophe 🙂 Then we chatted for a while and I headed home.

I left the house and, remembering the large amount I’d had to eat today, undid the button on my trousers to make myself a little more comfortable. It was past midnight with very few cars around – who’s going to care? I then saw that my windscreen was covered in some kind of kak, so fired screenwash onto it. The kak turned out to be fairly thin ice, which promptly smeared. Suddenly I couldn’t see anything. Shit. Happily there was a layby to pull into, and after a few minutes of blasting hot air I was able to get going again.

Ten minutes later I was driving along wondering whether the ice episode warranted a blog post, when somebody stuck their thumb out for a lift. I know you’re not meant to, but I felt sorry for the guy – it’s freezing and he had no coat – so I stopped. He was heading to a small village that was only a couple of minutes away, so I dropped him off and continued back home. A few minutes later, a potential conversation occured to me in which the hitchhiker tells his friends that the strange guy who gave him a lift was driving with his trousers open and a spare pair of underwear on the back seat.

Hmmm. I can see how this could have been misinterpreted.

I doubt he spotted either of those things, actually – firstly it’s not like my fly was open or anything, and secondly I think he was fairly drunk – but the idea amused me.

  1. who decided to insert the news at 22:30, 25mins before the film ended – I don’t understand that channel []