I’ve recently fallen into the habit of going to bed slightly earlier and watching the day’s episodes of The Daily Show and Sports Night. Both are great, but I’ve realised that the latter is in fact bad for me. Every episode contains something that sets my mind going, then I can’t get to sleep. Yesterday’s, incidentally, introduced me to the wonderful word persnickety. That’s a keeper.

Just saw David Cameron being interviewed on Newsnight. Again, I thought he was impressive. Jeremy Paxman helped by asking some entirely ridiculous questions, but DC fought back well. Such a shame he’s a Conservative
One last thing: two wonderfully sharp essays on What it Feels Like to be an Atheist, and Why Atheism. Excellent invocation of my favourite bearded metaphor, too. Via the j-walker.

Oh, and New Scientist now has a podcast. Kinda like Darwin, but with different words.

Bit of a crap day, truth be told. Hopefully tomorrow will be better!

Just back from the walk and my fingers aren’t keen on bending. It’s cold out there! Not too windy, happily.

Earlier today I was reading a BBC article about a new Channel 4 show, and as the day’s gone on it’s annoyed me more and more. The first I heard of the show were the brief adverts during last night’s Lost, which showed a starry backdrop and the words ‘Space Cadets: Coming Soon’. Being into space and astronomy generally, I made a mental note to find out more about it. Then, unfortunately, I did.

It doesn’t start off well. The first image I saw was Johnny Vaughn in a spacesuit. If you lined up all the television presenters I don’t like in a long row and asked me to wipe any three of them from existence, I’d zap Johnny Vaughn three times, just to be sure. Even if Eamonn Holmes was there. I often place people onto the Johnny Vaughn Scale of Annoying, for only he could be the namesake¹. So that’s not good.

Then, though, I discovered the concept of the programme:

Space Cadets, which will air next month, will tell nine people they are to visit space thanks to a Russian tourism agency.

They will be told they are being taken to a Russian training base - but it will, in fact, be a secret UK location

So they’re going to be launched from the UK? That’s a little strange, I didn’t know the UK had manned launch capability. Unless, of course…

Channel 4 executives have admitted the joke could be on them if the participants cotton on to the stunt.

…

Their shuttle will be a Hollywood creation, made originally for the Clint Eastwood film Space Cowboys, with sounds created by a special effects specialist.

A custom-built screen just outside the shuttle will attempt to provide the illusion of a view of Earth.

It’s all a big lie. Four people will be told they’re going into space, but it won’t be real. That’s just bloody appalling. Firstly, I think it’s a horrible thing to do. If Channel 4 told me I was going into space I’d be (pardon the pun) over the moon! I have no idea how realistic the simulation would be, but I’d be crushed if I discovered that the whole point was to make people laugh at me. Secondly, you’d have to be pretty sadistic to find this entertaining, imho. Let’s look at the selection criteria:

They were selected because they showed a trait of “suggestibility” during psychological testing, said Channel 4.

as well as…

But producers will not have to recreate weightlessness because the contestants are to be told their orbit will take them to Near Space, not Deep Space, where they could experience the sensation.

…and…

About one fifth of what they learn in preparation will be fiction but the remainder will be based on genuine training techniques.

So the premise is: let’s laugh at people who don’t know any better.

What’s the point? To take some people who dream of going into space, tell lies and watch them make a spectacle of themselves while people poke fun? Pop Idol shatters people’s dreams, but at least they know what they’re letting themselves in for. If you go to the website, the tagline is ‘Boldly Going Nowhere’. That’s not funny, it’s just pathetic.

The crazy thing is that a programme about training people for spaceflight would probably be quite interesting! For people like me, anyway. I’d happily watch people train in the ‘vomit comet’ - the plane that flies in a parabola for over a minute, mimicking freefall so that those inside experience ‘weightlessness’² - or in the underwater tanks, or the centrifuge…I’m sure that with the right format it could be fascinating.

I accept the possibility that this may be a stunt of some kind. C4 did this once before, didn’t they? I forget what it was exactly, but the basic idea was ‘volunteers wanted to ogle strippers for a month!’ and then the interviews were broadcast. This isn’t quite the same, but maybe we don’t know the full story. Maybe I’m playing right into their hands here - I hope so. If not, though…

This is a terrible thing to do. It’s crass, sadistic and appeals to the very worst in human nature. Screwing around with people’s wonder is like taking toys from a child for no good reason - should we put that on television? Shame on you, Channel 4.

1. admittedly, it’s been on the cusp of changing to the Johnny Vegas scale from time to time, but JV has held on [↩]
2. this is how Apollo 13 was filmed - it took hundreds of flights! [↩]

I just found a note on my Hipster PDA that says:

gravity burns

If anybody can tell me what on earth this relates to, I’d be very grateful. Is it some amazing plot twist I’ve forgotten about? Is it the beginnings of a Theory of Everything? A special code to remind myself of the incredible conspiracy I discovered before the government wiped my mind? I don’t even remember writing it…

I just played through the singleplayer F.E.A.R demo, and I’m glad it was the daytime. Sunlight was streaming through the window and a dog slept by my desk, which meant that when I stepped onto the ladder and saw a little girl standing right in front of me I only jumped a little, instead of dying right there and then. It only lasted twenty minutes or so, but I was quite impressed. The sound was immersive, even using my two tiny speakers, with the sound of your own breathing becoming very loud at the darkest points, as well as excellent use of incredibly unnerving silence. The graphics were excellent - extended gunfire produced smoke, obscuring your vision, and the grenades produced impressive shockwaves. Dodging bullets resulted in sprays of wall-material flying in all directions, and the ‘fast reflexes mode’¹ saw projectiles rippling through the air in a very Matrix-like fashion. Not that I had much chance to notice these effects, given that I was desperately trying to survive at the time.

What most impressed me, though, was the general creepiness. The little girl spoke in whispers of death and coming horrors, then crumbled into ashes; hallucinations of the man I was chasing appeared once or twice, fading into the shadows and vanishing; silhouettes of the grotesque passed through open doorways. And just when you’re getting used to the atmosphere, some kind of assault-armour clad marine drops through the ceiling and unleases eighteen rockets in your direction.

The plot, that I know of anyway, revolves around an elite army unit (First Encounter Assault Recon) who deal with paranormal situations. The level I played was very Doom3 like, but without being so goddamn macabre. The setup of F.E.A.R sounds much more promising, as when you complete a mission you presumably move onto something different, and hopefully not just another industrial area with flickering lights.

F.E.A.R’s definitely going onto the wishlist, but the thought of playing it alone, at night, in my flat? I’m nervous already.

1. think bullet-time from Max Payne [↩]

Caught up on words today. Being awake helps so very much!

I found out yesterday that the valuer finally got back to the Halifax with his recommendations. We don’t actually know what he said, but the Halifax have now requested an indemnity document, which the Seller’s solicitors are drawing up¹. This apparently covers them against being sued by…someone. I’m told this is very simple and shouldn’t take long. That’s the final hurdle, as far as I know, so it’s possible things may start to happen in the next few days. That’s good, because the sofa is still being delivered directly to the flat ‘before the end of November’
Just off out for what’s become an annual meet-up with some friends I used to work with. I’ve enjoyed the last couple of get-togethers very much, so it should be fun.

1. at my expense, apparently [↩]

Ugh. I didn’t get to sleep until sometime after 0200, and was up at 0800 today. I generally only get an hour or so more, but at about 1100 I suddenly got knackered, and it didn’t really go away. So only just over 1000 words today. I’ll try to catch up tomorrow, but my projected end date is still the 26th, so the schedule’s ok. I’d best be off to bed - there’s a guitar lesson first thing and I’m out from the early evening. I’ll try to have a busy afternoon, I think.

If anybody nearby wants one or two 17″ CRTs, I’ve got two NEC-Mitsubishi 750SBs up on eBay. Didn’t really want to sell them to be honest, but there’s just no room Collection only, and 50% of the proceeds will go to Children in Need.

Just hit 25,000 words, and am rather happy. 24,814 remaining, and I know I can write that many because I’ve done it already! Admittedly there’s a minor roadblock in the form of my plot lasting maybe 5,000 more words before I have to figure out what’s happening next, but that’s the fun bit

Do you ever put off doing stuff until some arbitary time? I keep finding myself thinking ‘I’ll start that at quarter past’ , or half past, or on the hour. It’s not that I have anything to do in the meantime - if I added up the wasted minutes I’d probably save myself an hour in the day. This post is in fact something I’m writing before half past, when I’ll start writing. New resolution: do things straight away.

Self conscious??? - originally uploaded by Kerryn from NZ.

I love it

Just back from Wallace and Gromit, which I really enjoyed. Unfortunately, it was rather spoilt by two of the front three speakers cutting out for a few minutes at a time. This made the volume decrease suddenly, which was much more annoying than you’d think! During dialogue it was particularly jarring. I wouldn’t normally mind, but this has been happening at the cinema since the summer and they haven’t done anything about it. I can remember noticing it on at least three occasions. So I complained.

The cinema is Cineworld in Solihull, and I sent them the following email:

Hi,

Tonight’s performance of Wallace and Gromit (20:30 in screen 6, on Friday 11th November) was plagued with sound problems. I’m pretty sure the centre and right speaker were cutting in only intermittently, throughout the film. This was particularly annoying during dialogue, as the volume would decrease dramatically.

Normally I wouldn’t complain - these things happen, after all - but this problem has definitely been around since the summer. On at least three occasions (starting with Kingdom of Heaven) I’ve noticed the same thing, and although I can’t be sure, it seems likely it wasn’t all in the same screen. It’s disappointing that it’s lasted so long. I’m not after money back or anything, but if you could fix the problem I’d very much appreciate it!

Andrew

Too wussy? Probably. I’m not good at nasty. I imagine a letter would have more effect, and if I get no response maybe I’ll try that. I don’t expect perfection every time, but I don’t think it’s reasonable to leave a problem like that for so long.

Update on 5th December: No reply yet, so I guess I’d best send a letter. Not very related, but I was there on the 3rd and noticed a member of staff standing at the side, apparently watching for any disturbances in the audience. He was there for a good hour, which was quite impressive. ‘course, he could have just wanted to see the film

Much as I think the Windows Auto-Update feature is a good thing, it has one major drawback. If you set it to automatically install patches as they become available, it will restart the computer. You get warned a few minutes beforehand, but if you’re doing something else it’s not much use. I’m not entirely sure, but I have a strong suspicion it forces all applications to close, too, irrespective of any errors that may be thrown up. Somebody in Mum and Dad’s office lost half an hour’s work on a spreadsheet when this happened while they made coffee. As a result I’ve set the updates to be downloaded automatically but not installed, which isn’t my preferred solution. There’s a fix, though. Binary Bonsai points to a registry edit to prevent XP from restarting. Go to:

[HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\Policies\Microsoft\Windows\WindowsUpdate\AU]

You may need to create the WindowsUpdate and AU keys. Create the following dword value:

“NoAutoRebootWithLoggedOnUsers”=dword:00000001

I haven’t actually tested this myself, but it’s in the registry so I’ll see how it goes. As ever, the standard registry editing caveats apply - if everything dies, don’t blame me!

A much more thorough analysis of this issue can be found here.

Please take a moment, fellow Pastafarians.

Our spaghetti
Who art in the colander
Hallowed be thy sauce
Thy serving come
Thy strands be wrung
On forks as they are on spoons
Give us this day our daily meatball
And forgive us our starchiness
As we forgive those who are starchy against us
And lead us not into Kraft parmesan
But deliver us from Chef Boy Ardee
For thine is the garlic
And the onion and the bay leaves
For ever and ever.
Ramen

From Tattered Sleeve, via (as so often) J-Walk Blog.

Just seen on Lifehacker that Microsoft have released cut-down Express versions of their pricey development software. Available are:

• Visual Web Developer 2005 Express Edition
• SQL Server 2005 Express Edition
• Visual Basic 2005 Express Edition
• Visual C# 2005 Express Edition
• Visual C++ 2005 Express Edition
• Visual J# 2005 Express Edition

That’s an excellent idea imho - I liked vb.net as a programming language when I used it, and bought vb.net studio for £75 or so, only to have it become redundant when the dotnet framework 1.1 was released and didn’t support the first release of vb.net studio. So that sucked. This would have been much appreciated at the time!

I read about this a few days ago, but J-walk blog reminded me. The Kansas Board of Education, famously lobbied by Pastafarians, just voted to allow intelligent design to be taught in school science lessons. Crazy quote number one:

The new standards say high school students must understand major evolutionary concepts. But they also declare that the basic Darwinian theory that all life had a common origin and that natural chemical processes created the building blocks of life have been challenged in recent years by fossil evidence and molecular biology.

That’s total and utter bollocks¹, but when you’re a republican Christian you don’t let little things like the truth get in the way of spreading the doctrine. Then, though, comes this:

In addition, the board rewrote the definition of science, so that it is no longer limited to the search for natural explanations of phenomena.

Oh, ok. I can’t seem to find the new definition, sadly. What could it now possibly mean? The search for explanation in any form? Should intelligent falling be in the curriculum? Why the hell not?

I like it when people play with words and think they’re winning the argument. A common creationist strategy is to attack the definition of scientific terms. Aside from being entirely spurious, it’s not even a proper logical technique. If you claim that the word ‘cat’ in fact derives from the Latin for ‘giant space monkey’, it doesn’t stop the fact that cats exist. The concept of a cat is not negated by manipulating the language that refers to it.

I know I’m extremely anti-religion, but this is an entirely separate issue and mustn’t be confused with atheism. It’s the subversion of education, and it affects everybody. It’s simply unacceptable for anything other than the truth to be taught in schools. The ridiculous thing is that science and religion are not mutually exclusive. It is entirely reasonable for you to decide that an all-powerful being created the universe, given that nobody has any clue. It’s as likely we’re all grains in an elf’s teapot, but that’s beside the point. The proviso is that you revise your opinions as evidence comes in. It was through this process that the world wrenched itself into the modern era, and millions of people were saved by medical advances, and standards of life improved immeasurably for billions. Education should be about provable reality², not the world as some people would like it to be.

If cigarette companies lobbied education boards to stop teaching children that smoking was bad for them, on the basis that there are alternative viewpoints, would that be reasonable? How can people be expected to survive in a logical world if their education has failed them? If evolution doesn’t happen, why should we bother worrying about bird flu? The virus doesn’t evolve through mutation, so how can it pass to humans? How can it be ok to teach information that is entirely untrue? This isn’t a a matter of interpretation - “Darwinian theory…[has] been challened…by fossil evidence and molecular biology” is simply not the case, unless by ‘challenge’ you mean ’somebody said it wasn’t true’. How can the world continue to improve if knowledge is stifled? It’s dangerous and ridiculous, and needs to be fixed.

People will say that this is Kansas, an incredibly conservative ultra-religious state in the heart of the US, so of course this kind of thing is going to happen. Most parents there teach their children creationism anyway, surely? And those who disagree can just tell their children the truth, right? No, for three reasons. First of all, parents don’t necessarily understand the issues. If one person is sent to school under the impression that they’re learning the truth, and nobody tells them different because they simply don’t know, that person has been failed. Secondly, education is there to teach the truth, and it’s morally wrong for that not to happen. Thirdly, this is a victory for creationists, and they can use it as a launching post. Mentioning that what you’re lobbying for is now the education policy for an entire state will get the attention of many people, and if they’re not aware of the issues at stake they will take it seriously.

If churches are allowed to fund UK schools and said schools are allowed to have more say over their curriculum, as is suggested in the new education reforms, this could easily spread to individual schools over here. Religious belief is an incredibly powerful motivator, and those who would subvert education will not stop at one victory, or one country. I think that we as reasonable people have to fight this, and should not wait for the battle to come to us.

How can we do this? Explain the scientific method to those who don’t understand science, and think it’s a closed-minded group of nay-sayers out of touch with the real world. Promote the flying spaghetti monster. Write letters to newspapers who, in a desperate need to ‘give both sides of the story’, present intelligent design as the underdog against the big mean world of science. We can fight our corner in small chunks, and that should, eventually, have an effect.

This turned out to be longer than I’d anticipated, and thanks for reading. As you may have guessed, it’s something I feel very strongly about! For more information, Pharyngula and The Panda’s Thumb are excellent places to start.

1. don’t take my word for it, see the links at the end for sites devoted to proving my ever-so-eloquent assertion [↩]
2. provable, in this sense, meaning ‘all evidence points towards this being the case’, which is as close as science can come to being certain [↩]