How about “Web junkie seeks astonishingly understanding female of the opposite sex” ? No?

I’m not “subscribing” yet, but I’m just creating an account at Match.com UK. DatingDirect.co.uk is the biggest in the UK, but the website annoys me 🙂 Match asked me for a username and password…and here’s my first problem. You see, my two normal usernames are ‘wandwaver’ – because I used to be a magician – and ‘kryptothesuperdog’ – after Superman’s dog. I signed up using the latter without really thinking. Now I’m wondering if that wasn’t terribly sensible. ‘Kryptothesuperdog’ on a dating website? Hmmm. Better than ‘wandwaver’, I suppose. Anyway, I’m not planning to put my profile ‘out there’ for the foreseeable future, I just want to see how the whole thing should work. I’m going through the questions atm…

Question: Do you want kids?
Answer: Possibly, but not quite yet.
Question: How many?

How tall do you want your match to be?
I don’t really care…Or do I? I’d go out with a very small person, wouldn’t I? Or would I? I’m sure I would. I don’t know!

Tell us some more about your ethnicity.
White…Male…That’s it, really.

Are you looking for certain body types?
No. I’m not. … . No. Well. It depends how you’re…No. Argh.

Is dancing a turn-on or a turn-off for you?
What type of dancing? I doubt you’re talking ballroom, but maybe you are. This is so difficult!

What’s your dating headline? For example: ‘Mum open to romance and dating’.

This could take a while…