Cockney Comparison

So I’m eating lunch with Dad the other day, when he says:

You know who you remind me of? That guy from Eastenders…[Andrew splutters]…who can’t read.

I don’t follow Eastenders particularly, but it’s sometimes on while I’m eating tea so I know the characters. This guy is a complete layabout! Dad proceeded to explain his reasoning, which was quite nice actually, and at the next day’s lunch I remarked to Mum and Jane that Dad had said I reminded him of an Eastenders character. Who did they suggest? Perhaps Alfie, the charming and suave market-stall owner? Or…Ok, I can’t think of anybody else any good. This is what they came out with:

Jane: Dot’s husband?
Mum: Minty?

I don’t know that much about Minty (I hope his real name’s Murray) so I shall give Mum the benefit of the doubt. However, Dot’s husband? Dot’s husband? The biggest moron in the show? If you’ll excuse me, I’m off to practice my bridge-based acrobatic skills.