I’d Need a Lodge, After All

I think I’m not a monkey
‘cos monkeys live in trees.
I’m glad I’m not a monkey
as monkeys never sneeze.
The money’s not in trees these days,
the prices are too steep
I think, all things considered,
I’d rather be a sheep.

A sheep. A sheep. A wooderwongacowabunga sheep.

If I owned a baby sheep
I think I’d called him Fred.
He’d summer in the dishwasher
and winter in the shed.
He’d be a great companion
on long hot boring evenings.
And when the winter comes around
truly excellent for eatings.

A sheep. A sheep. A chewylugiebarbanooga sheep.

But if I lived in Switzerland
With a gay butler named Diarmuid.
Fred might get way too jealous, so
I’d swap him for a marmot.
For they’re extremely fluffy,
but I hear they’re sometimes divas.
and sadly they can’t cha-cha-cha,
perhaps I’ll get a beaver.