Middle-Earth in Weatherfield

With the news that Sir Ian McKellen has signed up for a 10-episode stint in Coronation St, I’m hoping for the following dialogue:

Norris: We’re going to Spain next week, but don’t know how to get there.
Rita: I think we should go on a cruise
Norris: No, that hasn’t worked too well in the past
Emily: How about a ferry, then driving?
Norris: Oooh, I don’t know about that…
Ian McKellen: Fly, you fools!

Or, given that he’ll be a guest speaker at the book club:

Ian McKellen: Ok, some quick questions about my novel. Norris, who was the main character?
Norris: Oh, easy. That was Jim-Bob McGivvy
Ian McKellen: Yep. Roy, where was the novel set?
Roy: Now, if I remember correctly, that would be Devon?
Ian McKellen: Correct. Emily, from whom did Jim-Bob steal the