The first officially sanctioned Psycho Bitch Woman was Mrs Palmer in 24. She was crazy. I won’t go into what she did, but it was nuts. Her character had a few plot twists in the second series, too. She turns up in various other tv shows from time to time, and I must frequently restrain myself from exclaiming her phrase at many decibels. Then, as official Psycho Bitch Classifier, I made a mistake. I remember issuing a decree as to the Psycho-Bitch-Womaninity of someone, but now can no longer remember the identity of said person. This suggests, in hindsight, that they did not warrant the moniker.
People, we have a new deservee, and her name is Maya.
She’s completely psychotic, and not in a Trinny-and-Susannah good way. No. She blows up shops.
If you don’t know, I’m talking about last night’s Coronation Street, which was the best episode since Richard killed Maxine 18 months ago. Woohoo, it was fun. Dev, the best actor in the program, spent the final (of 3) episodes racing around his various shops, as they promptly exploded. The first hit as he opened the front door to investigate the wailing alarm. As a connoisseur of all things combustible, this was an excellent explosion. Dev was thrown across the street, but happily recovered enough to drive around madly for the next 25 minutes.
I should probably explain, for the uninitiated amongst you, that Dev left Psycho Bitch Woman for Sunita. A wise decision. Maya then, as you do, stole Sunita’s birth certificate and married various illegal immigrants, tipping off the police on Dev and Sunita’s wedding day. Sunita was arrested in church and carted off to prison. Much crying ensued. Dev sorted it, though, and Sunita was released and Maya questioned. That was a few weeks back, and I thought it was all over. Not so.
My mind insists on second guessing tv programmes, and my cunning theory was that the end of the episode would see Sunita, who lives in the flat above Dev’s Coronation Street branch, hearing the alarm go off. I then predicted that we’d witness the scene inside the pub as they heard a loud explosion, and the episode would end. I was wrong. The final moments saw Dev suddenly realise that Sunita may be in danger, and frantically phone her. The phone rang, and we saw Sunita tossing and turning in bed, not hearing it. Dev keeps trying, and finally Sunita looks up. She reaches for the phone, the camera angles changes and we see Maya standing behind her. We cut back to Dev as he hears screams down the phone. Episode ends.
Most cool. I haven’t been so entertained by Corrie since Richard tried to gas his entire family in their garage. So the club of the Psycho Bitch Woman has a new member, and she is most worthy. The next episode is on Wednesday.