When you’re with a boyfriend / girlfriend let yourself think for a moment about how you’d feel if you lost them. Then think of the things about you you know they get annoyed by, or don’t like, or whatever, and fix them. Don’t ever take that person for granted. I took Kate for granted and by the time I realised my mistake it was too late. This is the worst I’ve ever felt, and if there was anything I could do to change things I would. I spent all my time wanting to be with her, but still managed to mess it up. I keep desperately hoping I’m going to wake up. What the hell do I do with memories too special to forget but too painful to remember?

I’m going stay with my uncle in London for a while - I don’t know when I’ll be back.