Large Scary Monsters

While eating lunch yesterday I started watching One Million Years BC and it nearly killed me. It’s about cavemen, as you may perhaps expect. One of them has a fight with the leader of his tribe, so decides to wander off. So he gets to this cliff and has a rest. Suddenly, what rises up over the edge? An iguana! A massive dinosaur-sized one! Cue hysterics 1. After running away (lots of blue-screen work which was probably pretty impressive back then) he finally manages to escape. Now he’s running along the plains of what looked like Utah. He turns around a bluff and sees…a diplodocus! In the middle of the desert! This one doesn’t see him, so he manages to avoid it. Scrambling over a bluff, he looks down to see…A MASSIVE TARANTULA!!!! It was as big as the Millennium Dome πŸ™‚ Cue hysterics 2. Then, finally, he makes it over the side of a large drop and reaches a beach but collapses before reaching the water. He’s rescued by various women (who were frollicking in the sea in impractical outfits – as you do when you’re a cavewoman). Just when you think he’s safe, the final monster appears. Just imagine the fear that would overcome you if you looked up into the eyes of a highly dangerous, building-sized, extremely scary…tortoise. That was it, I was gone. Yes, this was the best they could come up with. A tortoise. This perhaps isn’t a surprise when you see the cover of the DVD. I’m thinking they perhaps weren’t that interested in the monsters πŸ™‚ Well, not that kind anyway…I didn’t watch much more of the film, but I’d highly recommend it if you want a laugh!