It was the humane thing to do…

This is an AOL CD:

An AOL CD

This is my car:

My Car

Bwahahahahahahahahahah.


The above AOL cd infiltrated my home via the postal service. AOL and similarly helpful software would normally be countered by vigilant security systems, but sadly this was foiled by Snail Mail. This is a typically sneaky trick. Had I not noticed I could well have found my computer infested. I have no need of software that mimics Windows’ built in functionality, except not very well. It had to be exterminated.

Adolf in the Flowers

Here’s Adolf the CD posing with a nice bunch of flowers.

Adolf in the Tree

Here’s Adolf in a tree.

Adolf in the Birdbath

Here’s Adolf in the birdbath. I suspect he realised something was up at this point.

Adolf in the compost heap

And here’s Adolf in the compost heap. I quickly realised I may have made a terrible mistake. What if he multiplied or grew in some way?! I swiftly removed him. At this point he realised the error of his ways, confessing he’d have much preferred to be a nice Freeserve CD, but that he was drawn in by the woman in the advert and the promise of new versions every six months. His digital self fled, his last plea being that his host body should be destroyed. Who am I to say no?

Adolf in an unfortunate position

This was the beginning of the end for Adolf.

Squashed Adolf

Flattened Adolf

I squashed him…

Adolf Unsquashed

…but sadly this didn’t quite have the impact I had hoped. He remained intact.

Adolf and Mr Brick

So I introduced him to Mr Brick.

Mr Brick Landing

Mr Brick and Adolf

The first photograph is the brick falling, in case you were wondering. This was a good start, but…

Adolf Starting to break

…it was still taunting me with ‘Sign Up to AOL today!’. I saw red.

Mr Sledgehammer like thing

I brought along Mr Big Heavy Thing That Holds The Gate Shut. Adolf has string tied to him as I was originally intending to construct an impromptu [one of those things where children fill a bag with sweets then hang it from a tree then hit it with sticks that nobody seems to have heard of but me despite us making one in infant school and it appearing in The Emperor’s New Groove], but then changed my mind.

Oops

Adolf and Mr BHTTHTGS

Yes, the first time I missed. The union of Adolf and Mr BHTTHTGS was more visually successful than previous efforts.

Adolf is cracking up

But still the text still mocked me with its resilience. I had a cunning idea.

Adolf and Mr Pan

A little AOL soup.

Adolf Seasoning

Just a touch of seasoning…

Boiled Adolf

…and twenty minutes later, a nicely softened Adolf…

A cutting image

…that could easily be chopped up…

Adolf Sandwich

…and made into a lovely sandwich!

Yum yum yum

Yum yum yum.