What Operating System do you use on the Mars Spirit Rover? For those of us interested in software, this article is a good read. It also explains exactly what the software error was that caused the Rover to malfunction a few weeks ago.

In case it wasn’t clear from the below post, I got my ass handed to me in every single board game Kate & I played yesterday. Pah. She’s not going back until tomorrow morning, which is nice We went to UCI on Saturday night to see Something’s Gotta Give, and found a queue that reached from the foyer right up to the popcorn desk, so gave up on that idea and watched Jonathan Creek instead.

I got a letter from Egg last week telling me that if I want to dispute the O2 transaction I need to send them my proof of postage. I’d already done that, but I sent it again…Sigh. Still no sign of the 6600 (or the T610, which also looks pretty nice) on the Orange website.

The previous post was submitted yesterday from a remote location, but an undisable-able firewall was blocking the HTTP referrer, so I could save it but not publish. I rebuilt the site today, which is why it’s under yesterday’s date.

Kate just beat me at Pick up Sticks, then Scrabble. You know what this means? She’s a cheat. Her name is now Miss Cheaty-Cheat for evermore. Nobody gets ‘books’ off a triple word score with their last five letters without resorting to underhand trickery. My internationally renowned reputation for being the King of Scrabble is intact.

Btw The American President is on this evening. I think it’s great, so everyone should watch it, as I know all.

I picked Kate up from York today, and am now exhausted. So I have nothing of import to say. No change there then. I shall, however, tell you a little story:

I was setting up a TFT monitor yesterday. I attached the stand, feeding the VGA cable through the appropriate slot, then looked for the power socket. It was one of those little round ones (that’s the technical term) rather than a large 3-pin hole. It wasn’t visible. So I did what any self-respecting tech shouldn’t do, and checked the manual. It was apparently next to the VGA socket. I chastised myself for being so stupid as to miss this, and removed the stand. No socket. There was, however, a sheet of metal punctured with various holes, that looked like it might be the remains or unfinished portion of where the socket should have been. This seemed possible, but highly unlikely.

I spent another fifteen minutes looking for the damn socket…slowly becoming more and more frustrated. It definitely wasn’t anywhere on the stand, or, as far as I could tell, the monitor itself. Eventually I left it, thinking I must have got to the stage where it’s right in front of me but I can’t see it, and would go back in an hour’s time. I felt very stupid, but sometimes these things happen. An hour later, still no joy. Two minutes later, I found it.

Guess where. Once someone gets it I’ll update the post.

UPDATE: Simon B deduced the location. The socket was part of the VGA connector that attaches to the back of the computer. Weird. I’ve seen this on rechargeable mouses and PDAs before, but never on a monitor. Ah well, at least I know for the future!

I occasionally listen to Heart FM when I’m driving around - usually during the Jeremy Vine show on Radio 2, or in the evenings. One of their presenters, Tushar, chased a gang of burglars from his home on Monday night. The police think they then ran him over, and he died today in hospital. I couldn’t have named him from his voice, but I’ve certainly heard his show, Kick Up The Eighties, many times. Such a nice world we live in, isn’t it. I know things like this happen all the time, but it just seems closer to home when it’s someone known to you. The Heart FM website has a form via which you can send condolences to his family.

UPDATE 2: It’s out! I started a Fileshack download when it said the estimated waiting time was 23mins. The estimated waiting time is now, I kid you not, 895mins. Good job I got in early! I’m still looking for a BitTorrent link. If you’re trying to download, UnrealOps and PlanetUnreal will likely have some mirrors soon.

Aha! BitTorrent link here (ignore the one I put up for 5 mins, I downloaded it for 10mins before realising it was wrongly labelled and was in fact the linux server). Lots of mirrors on VoodooExtreme.

First up - Unreal Tournament 2004 Demo will be released at 12.00 PST/15.00 EST/8PM GMT. It’s around 209MB and contains the following:

5 maps (AS-Convoy, ONS-Torlan, DM-Rankin, CTF-BridgeOfFate, BR-Colossus), 6 game modes (Assault, Onslaught, Deathmatch, Capture The Flag, Team Deathmatch, Bombing Run)

Woohoo! UT2K4 looks to have the technology of UT2K3 coupled with the playability of the original UT…Assault and Onslaught modes sound great!

UPDATE: Currently it’s only VE reporting this time as the actual demo release, other sites (well, gamespy) seem to only be suggesting an announcement at that time.

I’ve read at least two reports in the last five minutes on the seriousness of a new security problem that affects all versions of Windows XP, as well as 2000 and NT4. More details here. When MSBlast hit it caused chaos, but we were lucky - it wasn’t destructive. Somebody’s undoubtedly already exploiting this new vulnerability and they may not be as ‘nice’, so get patched up via Windows Update, or you can download it directly here.

If you need any advice about updating / firewalls / virus scanners, I’ve got a page on Ballistic Duck devoted to security issues (please let me know if you feel I’ve missed anything, too).

Incidentally, I keep reading articles/posts recommending against any kind of auto-updating or use of Windows Update due to ‘the patch might break things - you should give it time to make sure’. Ignore this. This happened with a very early service pack for Windows NT. It was a long time ago, and hasn’t happened since. Even if it did, you’re almost certainly better off applying the patch than having Joe Hacker break into your PC and low-level format the hard drive.

I have returned! Fear not, your troubles are over. I had a great weekend, thanks for asking. Did anybody else watch Angels in America? All six hours of it? I did, but I have no idea what to say. It was…what it was. Kate and I also saw Peter Pan, which I enjoyed, and I picked up Donnie Darko in Borders for £5.99.

Speaking of DVDs, hell today froze over.

I started my Astronomy course this morning, and have been learning about Positional Astronomy. I’d never really thought about this before. How exactly do you come up with a latitude/longitude system for the sky, which changes based on where and when you are? It’s not complicated, but there’s been a lot to take in (the answers are declination and right ascension, if you’re interested.)

I’m off to York shortly. The weather looks atrocious. Great.

I hope everyone has a fun weekend. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, and if you do, you can get cream for that now.

Mum and Dad + staff went out for their Christmas meal today, so I tagged along. Being accountants, you see, they have to fill in tax returns for many of their clients (including me). The deadline for tax returns, for money earned from March ‘02 - March ‘03, was the end of January. Despite Mum & Dad sending out letters as early as last July, most people can’t be bothered to do anything about sorting out the information until late November. So Mum & Dad have been working pretty much flat out since then to submit over 300 tax returns, and as a result haven’t had time to go out for the annual Christmas meal until now. So that was nice.

We went to the Forest Hotel in Dorridge, which was a bit posh for me. It’s the kind of place where, despite the order in which you’re sitting around the table, women are given menus first. Orders are also taken in this interesting hierarchy. Once you get said menu, which could be at any time but don’t try raising your hands to receive it or you’ll just be passed over and look stupid, you have to speak French to understand the majority of the items. I don’t get this. It’s fair enough if the food is French in origin, obviously, but when it’s just normal food with a flash name, it’s a bit of a weird thing to do.

I’m always a bit nervous in places like this, as I don’t fit in. When I get nervous, I get flustered. So I’m looking at the menu and I see the ‘minute steak with pommes frites’. Even I, being the only person in the country to have only learnt French for six weeks, know what ‘pommes frites’ are. But what’s this word ‘minute’? Are we talking time, or are we talking about lizards? I can’t believe it’s a really small steak, but what the hell would the former mean? Is that how long it’s been cooked for, or what? Does that mean it’s really undercooked? If so, is it just a fancy way of saying ‘blue’? What am I going to say when she asks me what I want? They’ll all laugh at me if I say the wrong one, what am I going to do?

Thankfully, somebody else wanted the same thing, so said it before me. Why didn’t this bozo just ask his parents, you’re thinking. Because for some bizarre reason I like to pretend I know things that I don’t. This sucks, and I’m trying to stop doing it. I think it’s a man thing. Here, incidentally, is the definition of ‘minute steak’, courtesy of my dictionary:

a thin steak that can be cooked quickly

So I was right on both counts! How do people find this stuff out? I live in perpetual fear that I’m going to wake up one morning to find my whole head has turned green, then everyone’ll laugh at me because I didn’t know that, once you pass the age of 20, you have to scratch your right ear the night before to prevent this happening. I need a book on life, I think. Perhaps a CD version, to listen to in the car.

You know what else I have a feeling I’m going to be needing real soon? Besides locking up, I mean. This. And this. And and this. T(DOYC)FD.

I’ve been able to type since I was pretty young. I remember teachers laughing when I’d use the classroom computer: you don’t expect kids to be able to type quickly. My ’style’ was totally self-taught, however, and was based on typing as fast as possible. A couple of weeks ago I decided that I really needed to learn the ‘proper’ way, and stole my sister’s copy of Mavis Beacon Teaches Typing.

Firstly, the software. It installed ok on XP, but the first time I tried to run it I was immediately kicked back to the desktop. I should point out in the interests of fairness that my computer is slowly going crazy. I’ve had three spontaneous restarts in the last two weeks, Max Payne 2 still won’t run without major graphical corruption, EAC won’t detect my CDRW whatever I go and various other, smaller things are happening (that’s code for “I can’t remember what else”). So this may not be Mavis’ fault. In fact it probably isn’t, as my sister used it on her computer, which also runs Windows XP, and as far as I know it worked fine. But I’m going to complain anyway - everybody’s gotta have a hobby. It’s not a happy program on my computer. There’s a “progress review” area, where you can see ego-boosting charts of how your typing speed has increased day-by-day. It doesn’t work. I get ‘the program attempted an unsupported operation’. So I just have to imagine the godlike skill increases that it would undoubtedly show. The actual teaching-tutor section works fine, thankfully.

When it starts up you first select the user (a nice addition for families, imho), then a computer generated Mavis describes the various sections I can enter. This can be skipped easily, and clicking on the ‘lesson area’ takes you straight into the main program. There is a voiceover by Mavis that doubtless would annoy some. I imagine the strong american accent coupled with the repititious “you’re doing really well” type phrases would get on some people’s nerves after a while. Thankfully, I’m immune Once you get into the lessons, another potential problem arises. The font used has an ‘I’ that looks exactly like a ‘1′. Admittedly, when you’re advanced enough to learn the ‘1′ it does look different, but when you start it takes a while to get used to. It’s weird, but it could just be another idiosyncracy of my computer.

You learn a few letters at a time, then spend x number of exercises typing the characters displayed on the screen. The exercises are nicely structured: after each one you’re given your actual typing speed, then a calculated typing speed taking into account mistakes you made. Simply pressing the space bar takes you to the next lesson, which is much appreciated. Once you get to a reasonable typing speed with a set of 3 or 4 letters you learn some more. Obviously, there’s no guarantee you’re using the correct fingers, but there’s no point cheating. Every so often you get to play a game. There’s a car racing game where the faster you type the faster your car goes. There’s a hot-air balloonist who can only be kept skybound by typing with a steady rhythm (by far the most difficult). There’s a voyage to the bottom of the sea where every innacuracy attracts little fishies, which eventually attract sharks, who eat you. These games are reasonably entertaining, if a little monotonous after a while. After I’d been using the program for about two hours I discovered something which won’t surprise you in the least:

It’s bloody annoying.

Which brings us nicely into how to type properly. You start with the ‘home keys’. These are A, S, D and F for the left hand; J, K, L and ; for the right. Open Notepad and try it now (I’ll know if you don’t). Your little fingers go on the A and ;, respectively, with your thumbs on the space bar. Got that? Ok, now E and I are typed with the middle fingers. Try that. Remember to return your fingers to the home keys after each key press. Not too bad, is it? R and U are typed with the index fingers. W and O with the ring fingers - that’s slightly more tricky. Q and P with the little fingers. How’re you doing? It’s a little awkward, isn’t it? Now try without looking. AARRRGGGHHHH! Goddamn stupid useless won’t-go-where-they-should-fingers! I wanted to press R! Why in the hell did I press U?!!? At this point you’re normally no longer in the mood, so it’s best to have a rest for a bit. And amazingly, it actually does come more easily after a night’s sleep.

Ok, so now you move onto G and H with the index fingers. Then T and Y, also with the index fingers. These are a pain. After that it’s N and M, both with the right index finger. Now we come to what are undoubtedly the MOST EVIL KEYS KNOWN TO MAN. Firstly we have V, with the left index finger. Then there’s C, with the middle finger. Then X, with the ring finger. As you’ve probably guessed, we then have Z, with the little finger. Finally, and it’s a big finally, we have B, with the left index finger. I still don’t get that one right. You get used to these five keys after a while, but I don’t think I have ever before moved my ring finger at that angle.

Feeling smug? Me too, at this point. I was at about 25 words per minute, which I was pleased with. I then started the capital letters, and a whole new concept was introduced to me, and it is this: the right-hand shift. This key does something?! Other than for gaming, I can honestly say that I have never used this key for any useful purpose. If the letter you wish to capitalise is typed by your left hand, you press the right hand shift with your little finger. And vice versa. Go on, try (starting from the home keys) capital B. Without looking. Nasty.

After this it’s a bit of punctuation. , with the middle finger, . with the ring finger. ? with the little finger (and left-shift, obviously). And now we come to my current crop of problems. The numbers. 1 = little finger. 2 = ring finger. 3 = middle ringer. 4 & 5 = left index finger. 6 & 7 = right index finger. 8 = middle finger. 9 = ring finger. 0 = little finger. These last two I’m having real trouble with. I’ve just gone through the punctuation for the number row, and brackets, quite frankly, can go screw themselves.

After a couple of weeks I am at least at the stage where I can type at a reasonable pace. Thank Deity-Of-Your-Choice. You have no idea how annoying it is to go from very fast to hitting-the-backspace-after-every-goddamn-letter, in a day. I do think, however, that it”ll be worth it. Occasionally I get into a rhythm and I can see how with a little practice it would be possible to go blisteringly fast, while maintaining accuracy and not even looking at the keyboard. I think the largest shift for me has been moving from whatever-finger-happens-to-be-nearest to each-key-has-a-set-finger. It’ll certainly be a while yet before I’m used to that.

()()()()()

In the TV magazine this week there was a quick write-up of some programme or other which involved two young, rich American girls travelling to the country to try to do country jobs, or something. This didn’t seem like my kind of show. Anyway, there was a photograph of these two girls. And, according to the caption, one of them was Paris Hilton. So now I know what she looks like. There is no way this isn’t going to embarrass me at some point. I’ll be flicking through the TV channels with Kate and various friends, when she’ll appear. Someone’ll say “Who’s that?”. “Paris Hilton”, I’ll immediately reply. Then that’ll be it, I’ll be teased mercilessly for evermore. Incidentally, if you’ve absoloutely no idea what I’m talking about, good for you.

Did you know they’re currently filming a Catwoman movie? They’ve changed the catwoman mythology. She’s now someone called Patience Price, as opposed to the Selina Kyle all comic fans know, but that doesn’t bother me too much. Halle Berry’s the eponymous heroine, and the first footage of her in costume was shown the other day. Heh. I don’t mind when superhero costumes are changed for the big screen, as it’s generally done properly:

Superman costume: Classic and cool - everybody knows you don’t mess with it.
Batman costume: Has never been particularly continuous in the comics, and there’s lots of leeway for change anyway.
Spiderman: Again, it’s classic, so you don’t change it.
Daredevil: Not much you can do with it, really.
Elektra: Fun as it would have been to see Jennifer Garner running around in this, it’s not what you’d call practical (the Elektra artists are all male? really?) so changing it for the film was understandable.

So changing Catwoman from this (or even this) to this, is somewhat odd. I mean, they’re obviously going for the sex appeal thing here, but it doesn’t personally do anything for me. In fact, it looks pretty silly. It’s like a gothic Minnie Mouse. How about you, guys?

Speaking of sex appeal, Janet Jackson apparently flashed primetime America during the superbowl last weekend. Whether or not it was actually an accident, as is claimed, you’ve gotta be amused by the reactions it’s generated:

Jan LaRue, chief counsel for the conservative Concerned Women for America group, called it a “pornographic show”.

Oh, for crying out loud. I haven’t seen pictures myself (”um, I was doing research for the blog, dear”) but I am assuming that there was no actual sex involved. Any penetration, climaxing or other carnal activites? Didn’t think so. Now I know that ‘pornography’ doesn’t really have a proper definition, but this is just nuts. I mean, exactly who is it who is being corrupted here? I’m thinking most adults have seen a breast before, so that counts them out. I’ll assume the same for teenagers, so that leaves under thirteens. So what are they going to do? “Look, look, I saw a nipple! Let’s all go have sex!” I mean, how have these kids been raised?

So many amusing things, so little time.

Firstly, Spirit is back up and running. W00t.

Church organists behaving badly. Go on, read it, you know you want to. I suggest Father Ted.

Now, I don’t know how many times you’ve seen Groundhog Day, but if you’re anything like me, it’s a lot. Brief plot summary: Bill Murray travels to a little town called ‘Punxsutawney’, where he goes to a place called ‘Gobbler’s Knob’ to watch a groundhog called ‘Phil’ emerge to see, or not, his shadow. Now I, for some reason only known to myself, imagined that while Groundhog day is a real event, the rest was made up. No. I’m astonished. It’s all true, even down to Phil. The guy in the photographs looks just like the man from the film too (I’m not going to hazard a guess as to whether Phil himself had a starring role).

Oh, I spotted the new series of CSI was on at about 20:59 last Tuesday. I’ll try to be a little more prepared today. It’s on Five at 21:00, if you’re a fan (and if not, why not?).

By the way: if you can source the title, you get a cookie.

I rang Singlepoint a week last friday with the intention of getting a PAC code (I need to get a new phone as my old contract will start costing me more very soon). I’d previously found a reasonable deal through the orange website which gave me 510 texts + 200mins for £34 a month. If I entered my PAC code in the process, my number would be transferred without me having to call them afterwards. Happily, Singlepoint were very helpful: they said one would be supplied within five working days. Perhaps unsurprisingly, nothing turned up. I was about to phone them when I thought I’d check the Orange website to see whether the price of the phone had changed. So off I trundled. I then found that the Nokia 6600 isn’t listed on their site any more. I. Don’t. Believe. It. Does anyone actually know anybody who’s got one? I think it might be made up. Thankfully PAC codes only cause your contract to be cancelled if they’re actually used, or I’d be really screwed.

If you need me, I’ll be banging my head against the nearest brick wall.