Rustling – A News Roundup

Imagine you’re happily walking down a Taiwanese street. You look to your right and see a sperm whale being transported on the back of a large lorry. Then: KABOOM! If only Douglas Adams were still alive.

Second on my list of things to do once I’m in power (after banning Johnny Vegas) is to pass this into law.

There seem to have been a rush of heroic animal stories recently. Like these. We’re gonna need smaller capes.

Hands up who remembers me raving about a little single by the unknown Katie Melua a few months back? Nobody? Didn’t think so. Check out the top item on this list, then feel free to email me money, adoring sonnets, underwear etc. Seriously, I received this album for Christmas and I’ve had to work hard not to listen to it too much. You know that feeling when you know the songs so well they don’t seem so special any more? I hate that. She’s got a stunning voice – hopefully she’ll take off in a Norah Jones like manner.

Apparently 49% of people think the Hutton Report was a ‘whitewash’. In similar news, the Chinese Emperor’s nose is reported to be 2.6cm long.